Easy Fifteen-Minute Caramel Popcorn

I'm not sure this recipe is from heaven or hell. It allows you to make delicious caramel popcorn without that whole put-it-in-the-oven-for-an-hour thing. Sounds great. Could be bad.

Because that hour thing always discouraged me from making it at all. Now, there are no holds. And, considering the amount of butter and sugar involved in this whole deal, that could be a bad thing.

But let's pretend it's not. It sure made my kids happy the weekend I was able to whip it out without a who lot of hoo-ha. Just fifteen minutes and gorgeous, delicious, homemade caramel popcorn.

Easy Fast Caramel Popcorn
from Two Sisters Crafting
makes a buuunch
Prep time: 15 minutes total
Cost: $2.00
popcorn: .25, butter: 1.30, brown sugar: .30, other stuff: .15

10 C popped popcorn (about 1/3 C unpopped popcorn)
1 C butter
1 C brown sugar
2 tsp vanilla
1/2 tsp baking soda
a few handfuls of chocolate chips for good measure--you know, for antioxidants and stuff

Pop the popcorn. Put it in a bowl.

In a sauce pan, melt the butter and add the brown sugar. Bring to boiling and boil for five minutes, stirring the whole time.

After boiling, add the vanilla. Then add the 1/2 tsp of baking soda. It will bubble and foam and lighten. It's this chemical reaction that is important to the "fast" aspect of this recipe. The chemical reaction aerate the caramel and make it lighter and smoother and easier to coat the popcorn.

Coconut Almond Cheesecake

I was supposed to finish killing you with sweetness yesterday and this cheesecake was it. But yesterday I had a little girl with a very high fever, so I didn't get to kill anyone with sweetness. Lucky for you, she's mostly better and the sweetness killing can happen today.  

The inspiration for this recipe came from a cheesecake called Almond Joy Cheesecake. That was an apt name. You can put some coconut and chopped almonds into the creamy cheesecake as well as on top or just leave it as topping. I left it as topping because I served it at book club and wanted people to be able to pick out any nuts or coconut if they didn't like those things (my picky children have ruined me), but truthfully I think it would have been fan-flibbing-tastic on the inside too.

Cheesecake is a a scary food to make. And it does take some forethought as it needs time to cool. However, I think that most of us are afraid of it because most of us have had icky, chalky, bland cheesecake before. But cheesecake is actually pretty simple--cream cheese, sugar, eggs, flavor of some sort, and that's it. You just beat this stuff together. The biggest secret I think, to good cheesecake is that you not overcook it. And here I must tell you that this is an act of faith. Because when cheesecake is done somewhere between 165 and 180 degrees, that sugar mamma is still jigggggly. Don't doubt. Don't leave it in till the jiggle is gone. Take it out when it's between 165 and 180 degrees at the center. Do it. It's helpful to have an instant read thermometer, but if you don't, know that the center 2-4 inches (sometimes even a little more) is still going to jiggle. The edges should be set, but not firm as a rock.

Coconut Almond Cheesecake
adapted from Creations by Kara
Makes 1 cheesecake
Prep time: 25 minutes
Cook time: 75-85 minutes
Cool time: 4-6 hours, or overnight
Cost: $8.00 (not cheap, but still a steal when you consider that one slice at Cheesecake Factory will cost you this, and that even a cheap frozen cheesecake from Walmart is significantly more)
Meh, cheesecake isn't cheap, but it doesn't have to break the bank. I always look for cream cheese on sale. It freezes well, especially if you'll be using it to cook with, not spread on things. I always try to get mine for less than $1.
cream cheese: 4.00, generic oreos: 1.00, sugar: .05, butter: .15, more sugar: .30, eggs: .40, extracts: .50, coconut: .30, almonds: .50, cream: .30, chocolate chips: .50

Crust:

1 1/2 C crushed Oreos (or generic version) crumbs--this is about 20 cookies
1/2 C sweetened flaked coconut
1/4 C sugar
1/4 C melted butter

For the cheesecake:

4 8-oz. packages cream cheese
1 1/2 C sugar
4 eggs
1 tsp almond extract
1/2 coconut extract
1/2 tsp vanilla extract
pinch salt
1/2 C sweetened coconut flakes (optional)
1/2 C chopped almonds (optional)

For the topping:

6 Tbsp cream
1/2 C semi-sweet chocolate chips
1/2 tsp vanilla

1/2 C toasted coconut
1/2 C chopped almonds

Note: My almonds were covered in a sweet chocolate powder covering. I found them at Aldi. They seemed perfect. But they're not necessary. Regular almonds would be delicious too.

For the crust: 

Place cookies in a food processor and crush them. Add other ingredients and blend. If you don't have a food processor a blender will work. If you don't have a blender, you can put the cookies in a large Ziploc bag and use a rolling pin to crush them.

Press the mixture into the bottom of a 9-inch springform pan. (Note: I used a round of parchment paper on the bottom of mine.

Bake for 10 minutes at 350 degrees.

For the cheesecake: 

Blend cream cheese. Add sugar and blend. Add eggs and blend. Add extracts and blend. Add pinch salt. If using add coconut flakes and chopped almonds.

Put this mixture over your crust in the springform pan.

Bake at 325 for 75-85 minutes or until an instant read thermometer reads between 165 and 180 (165 will be creamier and looser than if you cook a little longer). If you don't have a thermometer, the center 2-4 inches will JIGGLE. (Note: I did use a water bath and you can too if you wish--put the cheesecake in a roasting pan that has been filled with a few inches of HOT water. However, I think your cheesecake would cook fine even without this. Do know that it might cook faster so you might want to check it at 60 or 65 minutes.)

Cool your cheesecake. Overnight is ideal, but you need at least 4-6 hours.

When you're ready to top it, run a knife along the edge and then release the sprinform part of your pan.

When it's cool, make the chocolate ganache by  combining the cream, chocolate chips and vanilla. I do this in the microwave in 30 second intervals, mixing in between. When it's silky, pour it over the cheesecake.

Then put on toasted coconut (or regular coconut if you're too lazy to put it under the broiler for 2 minutes and toast it--no judgment here; you just made a cheesecake by golly). And add the almonds. I mixed mine together and thought it was pretty.

Allow your ganache to set for an hour (if you can; if you're in a rush, life will still go on).

PRINTABLE RECIPE

Rice Pudding (Cozy Shack Style)

Last night I should have been writing this blog post, but for whatever reasons, I had to have rice pudding. Had to. If you haven't ever had really good rice pudding, that probably sounds weird, but good rice pudding is just as crave-able as any other creamy sweet dessert.  The only problem with my craving was that when I came to my blog to look up my favorite recipe, it wasn't there--oh, the horror. Apparently, I've never posted it. Time to right that wrong.

I grew up eating rice pudding on occasion, but it was of the leftover rice variety. My mom would take some leftover rice, add an egg, some milk, sugar, and cinnamon and it would be rice pudding. I still consider this a perfectly fabulous way to use up leftover rice and I have craved this concoction after each and every one of my babies has been born.

However, this recipe is rice pudding on a whole different level than that. It is a rice pudding that is actually, well, a pudding. I won't call it a knock off recipe for Cozy Shack rice pudding exactly (because of course it's better and full of lovely natural ingredients), but it definitely has a flavor and texture that reminds you of Cozy Shack rice pudding (which I also kind of love, so there you go). This is creamy and rich--a lovely backdrop for fruit if you want to pretend it's breakfast, not dessert.

I got the recipe from Smitten Kitchen. She uses cinnamon sticks, cloves, and lemon rinds, and gives the rice a pre-soak. You can totally do that and will be rewarded with humming undertones of those flavors. But if you'd like to have your rice pudding before midnight, follow me. And don't worry--this pudding can totally hold its own without the added spices or the pre-soak.

Rice Pudding (Cozy Shack Style)
adapted from Smitten Kitchen
makes 6-10 servings
Cook time: 1 hour
Cost: $1.90
rice: .20, egg: .10, milk: .40, sweetened condensed milk: 1.00, vanilla: .20

Note: This can be eaten warm or cold. I like it best cold. Be warned that it thickens significantly as it cools so you'll want it a runnier than you think it should be. Otherwise, you'll have a lump of pudding when it's cool. I cooked mine a bit too long this time--it's still amazing, mind you, but it is thicker today that I prefer it.

Another note: You can use the cinnamon sticks, cloves, and lemon if you wish. Naturally this will raise your cost significantly. Or you can use several dashes of cinnamon and a pinch of clove if you wish. Or you can skip it entirely and just go for a creamy vanilla flavor.

Another note: This is a great recipe for a vanilla bean if that's your thing. If you'd like to use a vanilla bean, add it when you add the milk. You'll slice it open, let it cook, then scrape out those seeds and let it cook more. If you don't have a vanilla bean or are too cheap to use them, then a good Tablespoon of vanilla is all you need.

And another note: I've only made this with white rice. However, I really want to give it a go with brown. I think it would work out just fine and taste a bit nuttier and more complex. Let me know if you try it.

One final note: This calls for only 1 cup of rice. It seems much too little for all the liquid we're going to add, but it's correct--just watch, you'll see.

1 C rice (long-grain white or arborio)
2 cinnamon sticks (or a dash of cinnamon)
2 strips lemon rind (can be skipped)
3 cloves (or a dash of cloves)
4 C water
1 egg
3 C milk (I used whole, but 2% would also work; I would not recommend skim, but if the low-fat sirens have you trapped in their clutches, go ahead and give it a try)
1 14-oz can sweetened condensed milk
1 vanilla bean OR 1 Tbsp vanilla

Combine rice and water in large pot. Add cinnamon, cloves, and lemon rind if using. Bring to a boil, then lower heat and let it simmer UNCOVERED.

While it's simmering, whisk your egg in a separate bowl and then add you milk. Whisk to combine and set aside.

Now back to the pot of rice. When most of the water is out and it looks only a little better than Oliver Twist's gruel (this will take 10-15 minutes), you're ready to make some pudding. Add your egg/milk concoction--stirring as you pour it into the hot mushy rice. Then add the sweetened condensed milk.

Bring to a boil again and lower the heat again, letting it simmer UNCOVERED for another 30-35 minutes, stirring occasionally. As you stir, be sure to stir the bottom of the pot, so nothing starts to stick to it and burn. Now if you're in a hurry because your rice pudding cravings don't wait, you can leave this to cook at a higher heat, but you will have to pay for this by stirring it constantly so it doesn't burn. Don't leave and read a book; your rice pudding craving will never forgive you. 

It's going to simmer and simmer and simmer (with you stirring occasionally). As it simmers it will thicken. You need to take it off the heat before all the liquid is simmered off. In fact, you need to take it off the heat when it still seems a little runny--one stage before how runny you would actually like it to be. This pudding thickens significantly as it cools so unless you want to mold this like jello, you've got to take it off the heat while it's still a bit runny--not a sloggy, puddle-like mess mind you, but a little runnier than you want your cooled product to be. Add the vanilla. Stir. And cool. This is also pretty darn good warm, though I confess I love it best cold.

PRINTABLE RECIPE

Three-Ingredient Coconut Ice Cream (Made from Pantry-Stable Ingredients)

(Here it is--melting fast)

I'm so excited about this recipe. It's a shame I had to give it such a run-on sentence of a title. But I wanted you to know. Coconut ice cream! With only three ingredients!! Made from pantry stable ingredients!!! As in, you could get trapped in your basement during a tornado and these three ingredients would be staring you in the face, begging you to make ice cream out of them while the roof gets lifted off your house and carried to Oz. If that's not something to look forward to, I don't know what is. But I suppose I've digressed (and also come off as the crazy person that I am, but you know--ice cream! coconut!! pantry stable!!! three ingredients!!!! I'm still freaking out about it!!!!!)

And it is the best, most delicious coconut ice cream I've ever made or eaten.

You open two cans, add sugar, stir. And then add it to your ice cream maker.

The best news is that you don't even have to wait for a tornado to trap you in your basement--you can make this ice cream right now. I know--how lucky are you?

I came up with this ice cream recipe one hot evening last week when I Wanted Ice Cream, but didn't want to go anywhere to buy any and didn't have time to follow my usual method of cooking egg, sugar, and milk, then adding cream and cooling. This custard ice cream recipe is my go-to and it is a delicious recipe, but it's no good when you want ice cream NOW. And I've tried short-cutting it and leaving out the cooking process and it's never quite as rich. It occurred to me that coconut milk instead of cream and eggs would take care of a few problems. And game changer...It is rich and delicious and the stuff you need can just be sitting there waiting for you to need them. So now here we are--ready to encounter potential life-altering disasters with a quart of ice cream in hand.

Note: I tried to convince myself that since that has actual coconut milk in it, I could add blueberries and eat it for breakfast. This justification didn't really work--even for me. But, you know, you can't blame me for trying, right.

Three-Ingredient Coconut Ice Cream (Pantry stable ingredients)
Makes 1 quart ice cream
Prep time: 5 minutes or less
Mix time: 20 minutes
Cost: $2.35
coconut milk: 1.50, evaporated milk: .70, sugar: .15

Note: If you happen to think about your ice cream craving ahead of time, you could put the cans of milk in the refrigerator beforehand. This will make the churning process go a bit faster.
-Also--with my $20 ice cream maker, this produces a soft serve level of ice cream on the first day. This is standard for cheap machines and homemade ice cream. However, if you have a nicer ice cream maker it may be able to make it up as a harder ice cream.

1 can coconut milk (it can even be the cheap stuff as thickness isn't essential for this)
1 can evaporated milk
3/4 C sugar

Whisk together all ingredients. I stirred for a couple minutes, until the sugar was dissolved. I didn't want it sitting there at the bottom of the ice cream.

Pour into ice cream maker and churn according to manufacturer's instructions.

PRINTABLE RECIPE

Chocolate Potato Chip Bird's Nests

So on Monday at too-late-at-night o'clock, I was like, "What am I going to blog about this week?" I chose our family's favorite chicken enchiladas, which were an excellent choice. Except that this Sunday is EASTER and I specifically made and photographed these rocking Sweet and Salty Bird's Nests with the full intention of posting them on Monday.

Which is why you should not do things at too-late-at-night o'clock after a day that is chock full of manual labor with your husband. Indeed, at too-late-at-night o'clock, you should not write things on the internet at all--that's just a good rule to live by. If you insist on doing random things at too-late-at-night o'clock, what you should do is head out and buy yourself some potato sticks (I'd never bought them before either) and then sit at your kitchen table and make these little lovelies. Don't eat them at too-late-at-night o'clock (you're sure to regret that on several levels). But make them, and then love them. They are super super delicious. And delightfully dumb easy.

Chocolate Potato Chip Bird's Nests 
makes about 20 nests
Prep time: 10 minutes
Set time: at least an hour
Cost: $3.75
butterscotch chips: .50, chocolate chips: 1.25, potato chips: 1.00, Cadbury eggs: 1.00

1/2 C butterscotch chips
1 1/2 C semi-sweet chocolate chips
2 1/2-3 C shoestring potato chips
Cadbury milk chocolate eggs for the eggs in the nest

Melt butterscotch and chocolate chips together. I do this in a glass bowl in the microwave, stirring every 30 seconds or so until they're melted. (Note: If you do it in a large glass bowl, you can just pour the shoestring potato chips in and stir.)

Add your shoestring potato chips and stir until they're all covered.

Plop spoonfuls of this onto wax paper in a nest-like fashion, which is--fortunately--chaotic enough for most of us to manage.

Now arrange your Cadbury milk chocolate eggs on these (or Robin's eggs or Hershey's eggs or whatever).

Allow to set. This will take at least an hour, and you should really give yourself two hours, especially if it's warm in your house.

PRINTABLE RECIPE

My Favorite Lemon Bars

I really like lemon bars. Every time I'm pregnant (note: I am NOT currently pregnant just because I am writing about lemon bars), I crave lemon and lemony things like a lunatic and occasionally make a pan of bars that I eat half of that night, like even more of a lunatic (normally I'm a small treat kind of a girl). Nevertheless, you'll notice there's not a recipe on here for one yet. That's because even though I think most bars are decent, I have been looking for one to fall in love with for a very long time. Some of them get this kind of crusty thing going on up top. Some are too lemony (sometimes to the point where they almost burn my mouth) and some are just not very interesting. Then again, some are a little too interesting--I found a recipe a couple years ago where you just threw a lemon (seeds, rind, and all) into the food processor and processed it with all the other stuff. I loved that concept--the simple efficiency of it, and it actually tasted pretty good, but the bars came out with little chewy lumps of pith in them, and I didn't love that.

But as fate would have it, this Christmas, one of my sweet sweet piano students brought me a plate of lemon bars that she herself had made. And they were perfect--lemony and acidic, but nothing that'd burn your mouth off.  A perfect custardy filling with a lovely shortbread crust. I also liked the crust to custard ratio. They were it--the one--the lemon bar I'd been looking for.

I admit that I was almost scared to try to reproduce them. What if it had just been a fluke? What if they didn't work out for me? What if I messed them up?

But then, another friend, in another simple act of friendship gave me a whole bagful of lemons that her mother had grown. They were the most fragrant, beautiful juicy lemons I've ever seen. You could just squeeze them by hand and get nearly 1/2 cup of juice from them.

And then I knew that the time had come to make the lemon bars. And so I did. And they were just as perfect as they'd been when my piano student brought them.

I hope you like them as much as I do.

My Favorite Lemon Bars
Makes 9x13 inch pan
Prep time: 10 minutes
Cook time: 50 minutes, (20 for crust; 30 for filling)
Chill time: a couple hours--you'll chill the crust before baking and then you'll want to give yourself time for these to cool since warm lemon bars just seem weird (and too gooey).
Cost: $2.40 (that's about $.10/bar)
flour: .20, cornstarch: .05, sugar: .40, butter: 1.00, eggs: .40, lemon juice: .35

Note: This recipe is for a 9x13 inch pan. I didn't trust myself not to eat all of those, so I halved the recipe. If you make a smaller batch like I did, know that your cook times will be a little shorter. You'll probably cook your crust a wee bit less and your filling for about 20 minutes whereas mine was closer to 30 minutes.

Crust:
1 3/4 C flour (all-purpose)
1/4 C cornstarch
1/2 C granulated sugar (NOT powdered sugar)
1/4 tsp salt
1 C cold butter

Filling:
4 large eggs
2/3 C lemon juice (can be fresh-squeezed of from a bottle, but must be 100% lemon juice)
1 1/2 C granulated sugar
1/4 C flour
1/8 tsp salt

I made the crust in the food processor and recommend this. You just throw everything in and give it a few whizzes. It will end up looking crumbly, but it can be pressed together (kind of like a graham cracker crust actually).

However, if you don't have a food processor, just add all the dry ingredients and then use your fingers to rub the butter in until it forms fine crumbs. [Note: You could possibly melt your butter and stir it in for simplicity. I did NOT do this, since I followed my student's recipe perfectly. It might affect the texture of your crust and make it a bit denser, but then it might save you 10-15 minutes and that might be worth it--just an idea if you don't have a food processor].

Press this into a 9x13 inch pan. (I used parchment paper in my pan so that I could cut and remove the bars easily. Also, this makes it easier to freeze some of the bars so you don't eat them all immediately--this is always a good thing. Unless you are a pregnant lunatic, in which case you should just grab a spoon and have at it.)

Chill the crust for 30 minutes. [Note: Again, you could possibly skip this step. I didn't--I wanted the bars as I'd had them, so I followed the directions. But next time I will skip this step and see if it makes a big difference or not.]

When you're ready to go, heat the oven to 350 and bake the crust for 20 minutes. Then--without opening the oven door--turn the heat down to 300 and bake for another 2-5 minutes.

While it's baking, make your filling.

Whisk the eggs and then add the rest of the ingredients. Whisk it good.

Take your crust out when it's done (you don't want it super cooked--it's going back in with the filling and I just hate a burned crust; don't you?). Let it cool for 2 minutes and then pour the well-whisked filling over your crust (you want the crust still hot when you pour the filling in).

Bake for 25-30 minutes at 300 degrees until filling is set. When you take it out it should not be liquid, although a very soft jiggle is okay.

Cool it completely. When it is COMPLETELY cool, sift powdered sugar onto the top, and cut those babies up.

These keep well for several days and freeze extremely well. I just leave them on their parchment paper (cut into pieces) and put them in a large Ziploc bag in order to freeze.

PRINTABLE RECIPE

Cookies and Cream (An Icebox Cake)--Photo Redo

Today is my mother's birthday. So I made her favorite food. Because that is the type of selfless memorial we're all about around here. Love you, Mom.

And look what I did.

I made it all pretty.

I can't say I did that for Mom. No. I did that for you Pinterest. And for the rest of you, social media.

But the truth--the honest truth--is that you needn't make it like this. And the honest honest truth is that to make it on a cake stand like this is a terrible idea. Unless you have a cover for your cake stand and a very very empty fridge to store it in. Because this cake needs to sit in the fridge for 24 hours before you can eat it.

If you want to skip the cake stand and still make it pretty, just put it onto a little Tupperware pie or cake container.

See, still pretty, but much more practical.

And then, you can cover it up with more whipped cream because--personally--that's how I like it best. And look--still pretty. albeit not quite as showy.

You could even sprinkle some crumbs from the cookies on top for visual effect, but I didn't think of that until I was typing this up.

Then cover it, pop it in your fridge. 24 hours later you're good to go.

Now if you really really want it on that cake stand--say, for a certain loving, but potentially over-hyped holiday, you can prepare it on waxed paper on your nice practical Tupperware container, cover it, let it sit, and then just before eating, use that wax paper to slip it onto a fancy cake stand before serving. If that's your style. (Trim that waxed paper and you're good to go.)

(See.)

But except for the occasional burst of energy with this blog, that kind of fancy isn't usually my style. If you click to the original post, you'll  see what my style is (note: lazy; also not particularly visual). I put it all into a glass bowl with a lid and then flop it out with a spoon. It works, but Better Homes and Gardens won't be calling you (by which I mean, of course, me) any time soon. Here are some pic's from that original post for your viewing enjoyment.





And for the skinny on this recipe (by which I don't mean anything skinny at all), have a look at the post. It will give you all you ever wanted to know about this simple recipe, and lots of stuff you never needed to know. Below you'll find the basic recipe, but--you know--not the self-gratifying blabbing I usually do (because there was nothing self-gratifying in this post at all; nothing).

Cookies and Cream (An Icebox Cake)
Serves: Um, my family of 6 (but it should serve more; it really should; we have issues)
Prep time: 15 minutes
Fridge time: 24 hours
Cost: $5.12 (Okay, I know I've been highlighting some sort of pricey desserts lately, but May is my holiday month, okay. Besides, this is way cheaper than you'd get even one teeny from-a-box-of-some-sort dessert at a chain restaurant.)
(cookies: $3, cream: $2, sugar: .12)

1 box Nabisco Chocolate Wafers
1 pint cream
3/4 C sugar
2 tsp vanilla

Beginning by whipping your cream. Pour it in a bowl and blend it until soft peaks form. When they do, add the sugar and vanilla. Whip or beat until firmer peaks form.

Put a blob of it on the bottom of a salad bowl and spread that around. Make one layer of cookies, breaking some if you need to so they don't overlap. Add more whipped cream and spread. Add another layer of cookies. Repeat until you top it off with a thin layer of whipped cream.

Cover and refrigerate for 24 hours or until the cookies are perfectly soft.

Pretzel Bark

Okay, so this is floating around Pinterest right now. And it totally deserves to be. I had first tried it over a month ago when my brother made it for us while we were visiting Mom. I came home and bought myself a bag of pretzels (I never buy pretzels). But I sat on them for a while (no, not literally) because there's this problem with pretzel bark--namely that I want to eat it all--all half a bag of pretzels, 2 sticks of butter, 1 C of sugar, a bag plus a little of chocolate chips. ALL. Eating it all is what I'd like to call a bad idea. So I needed to wait until we had an event to make this. Fortunately, last night we had a singing night with some of our friends. This was my chance, and a perfect chance it was because I was tired and really not interested in making anything that took much effort. Pretzel bark takes 10 minutes of effort (and also some chill time, which requires patience, but not effort). Of course the 10 minutes of effort is sort of a problem too because do you really need 5000 calories to be ready for you in 10 minutes. Well, maybe not. But this can come in very handy when you need to make a butt-kicking dessert for an event and you're short on time. If that's not wonderful enough, you can always dress it up for whatever holiday is upcoming by using some colored meltable chocolate drizzled on top or by adding seasonal sprinkles.

The only down side of this treat is that it needs to be stored in the refrigerator or freezer since it gets too soft at room temperature. But then, considering those 5000 calories sitting in your house, maybe it's a good thing after all to have to tuck it away in your freezer. Last night after our guests left, I put it away promptly. I knew that if I didn't, I would eat it all. ALL. I'm even nervous to get it out to take a picture right now for this blog because, well, you know--it will be there in my hands and all. And then I might lick a finger off. And then I might try just a nibble. And then, well, it's kind of like alcoholism. Only more caloric. We just don't need to go there.

Pretzel Bark
from Mama Say What
Makes 1 cookie sheet full
Prep time: 10 minutes
Chill time: at least an hour
Cost: $4.25
pretzels: .90, butter: 1.00, chocolate chips: 2.00, sugar: .35

Note: The original recipe said to sprinkle sea salt on top of the chocolate. I did this on part, wanting to see if it made a difference since this is already a play on sweet/saltiness. I did like it better, but I'm a real salt/chocolate/caramel kind of girl. Either way, it's delicious.

1/2 bag of pretzels (8 oz.)
1 C (2 sticks) butter
1 C brown sugar
1 bag chocolate chips
salt, colored sugar, or whatever for sprinkling on top

Preheat oven to 350.

Line a cookie sheet with parchment paper or aluminum foil (do it; this stuff gets sticky). Arrange your pretzels thereon. My brother used those waffle pretzels, which lined up beautifully. However, they cost more than twice as much so I went traditional with mine.

In a saucepan, melt your butter, then add the sugar and stir until dissolved. Bring to a gentle boil and let it boil for just a minute (it should thicken just a bit and the bubbles should get a bit bigger).

Drizzle this over your pretzels and put it in the oven (be careful because your pan will already be a bit hot from the hot caramel). Bake at 350 for 5 minutes.

Take out and put the chocolate chips on top.

Let them melt (you can throw them back in the oven for a minute--only a minute--or you can just let them melt on the hot caramel). Gently spread the chocolate around.

Sprinkle on salt if using, or sprinkles or decorative colorful melting chocolate.

Let cool, then put in the freezer until hard--about an hour.

PRINTABLE RECIPE

Cookies and Cream (An Icebox Cake)

Growing up, we had a favorite family dessert--like, it was a favorite, for all of us. We didn't get to have it often as the cookies (Nabisco Chocolate Wafers) were hard to find. Whenever Mom did find them, she bought them. And we made this obscenely rich dessert. And we ate it until we were sick. That's pretty much how it still is.

[Tangential story alert]: One time, my mother made it in a plastic bowl she'd used for some sort of onion-containing salad. The cookies and cream ended up tasting like onions. It was tragic. We were all broken-hearted. There were tears. In fact, I still remember my mom looking at it like she herself was going to cry. And Mom wasn't much of a crier. I was so little, but I still remember it. It's one of those things that haunts you. At least if you grew up in a 1st world country with parents who loved you and you had clearly not enough other problems to haunt you.

Anyway, I remember that whenever people asked me what my favorite dessert/food was, I'd tell them "Cookies and Cream." They'd assume I was talking about ice cream and I'd tell them no, it was this really awesome dessert my mom made with, ahem, cookies and cream. No one had ever heard of it. Nabisco Chocolate Wafers were never sitting there by the Oreos year round (as well they certainly should be; what's wrong with us as a country) and cream was something that people just didn't discuss in the '90s. No one I talked to as a child or young adult had ever heard of, much less tasted, the concoction we called Cookies and Cream. I assumed it was a deep, dark family secret--a quirky family addiction, like some sort of collective family alcholism, only much sweeter and much better and with that cookie hooch that was hard to find, so that we were spared from constant obsessive dependence (I guess I should thank Nabisco, but I won't).

And then one day a couple years ago, I saw this pop up on one of my favorite food blogs. I was not alone. There were others in this world making and eating my dessert. But they called it by another name. A perfectly logical name and one that people would not constantly be mistaking for some kind of cheap ice cream. They called it Icebox Cake. I felt like a kid discovering that Aslan wasn't really just a lion. Whoa.

Icebox Cake is an apt name and icebox cake is a perfect summer dessert because this dessert requires no cooking at all. You layer the cookies with whipped cream. You throw it in the refrigerator overnight. And then you have the best dessert you've ever had in your life.

I made this on Mother's Day. I almost didn't. Why? Not because I don't love it. Not because I didn't want it. Not because it doesn't remind me of my own mother (it totally does or did you miss the tangential story above). But because I love it so very much, I knew that I would eat myself into sickness over this dessert and I didn't want to. I usually have good portion control. I usually stop when I'm full. But this cake--I don't know--I just can't stop. And it really is a cake that is intensely rich and therefore begs for a little stopping at some point. In fact, on Mother's Day my husband brought home a bunch of store bought cookies that were leftover from his work and offered to feed them to the kids for dessert. "No way," I told him. "Why not," he asked, "don't you want more of your favorite dessert." "Heck no," I said, "I need some other mouths to contribute to the consumption of that dessert so I don't make myself sick." And those other mouths did. I still ate more than I should have and felt a wee bit blah that night, but not, you know, completely sugar/cream hungover or anything. And here I'm going to have to apologize for this post because it's clear reading it that I really do have a problem. Two problems really, because I don't want help for my first problem. So ha.

Now on to the practical matters:

This recipe requires Nabisco chocolate wafers. No, you can't use Oreos (not even with the middles painstakingly scraped out and, yes, we've tried). No, you can't use chocolate graham crackers. (And yes, I've tried that too.) I mean, you can and it will still be an icebox cake and all, but it won't be transcendent. I could pass it at your party and not even take a lick (no offense, okay, I'm just being honest here). For this you need Nabisco chocolate wafers. Maybe you're lucky and they carry them at your store right in the perfectly logical cookie aisle. If not, here are some tips for finding them.
-Check the ice cream aisle. Sometimes they're stocked with the hot fudge sauce and other ice cream toppings. (And truly, they would be lovely in your ice cream, but not as lovely as in this dessert. In fact, these cookies taste really really really good on their own and I'm always surprised they're not more available and popular.)
-Look around Christmas time. I don't know why, but these have a seasonal air to them. Apparently people like icebox cakes in their Christmas festivities. I prefer them in summer when I don't want to bake (who am I kidding, I prefer them whenever, but Christmas-explosion-of-sugar-month is not my first choice), but don't worry; the cookies freeze great, so you can buy when you find them and freeze them whenever.
-You'll find them sometimes in the darndest places. I found a bunch at Big Lots once.
-When all else fails, you can order them from Amazon (bless you Amazon). They tend to be pricier than if you find them at a local store (I usually find them between $3 and $5/box), but sometimes--like when you're staring your own dessert co-dependence in the face and wondering how it ever got to this point and considering, but not really, a 12-step program of some sort--you just shell out the extra three bucks.




I noticed that Smitten Kitchen's is way pretty. She stacks her cookies up nice and neat and that's really lovely. I do as my mother did and make this in a salad bowl (although not one that has ever contained onions). It's just a bit easier that way. It takes literally 3 minutes to layer them and then it's really easy to put it in the fridge without worrying it will fall over or that little hands will find their way into all it's layered goodness while you're not looking.

To serve, you just scoop it out.

It's not Hollywood glamour or anything, but it works and makes for easy serving and easy putting away.

Also, Smitten Kitchen's recipe has less sugar than mine. You can do that if you want, but I like mine better. I just do. I only eat this every 3 years or so, so I add the extra few tablespoons of sugar and I enjoy every.single.one.of.them.

Cookies and Cream (An Icebox Cake)
Serves: Um, my family of 6 (but it should serve more; it really should; we have issues)
Prep time: 15 minutes
Fridge time: 24 hours
Cost: $5.12 (Okay, I know I've been highlighting some sort of pricey desserts lately, but May is my holiday month, okay. Besides, this is way cheaper than you'd get even one teeny from-a-box-of-some-sort dessert at a chain restaurant.)
(cookies: $3, cream: $2, sugar: .12)

1 box Nabisco Chocolate Wafers
1 pint cream
3/4 C sugar
2 tsp vanilla

Beginning by whipping your cream. Pour it in a bowl and blend it until soft peaks form. When they do, add the sugar and vanilla. Whip or beat until firmer peaks form.

Put a blob of it on the bottom of a salad bowl and spread that around. Make one layer of cookies, breaking some if you need to so they don't overlap. Add more whipped cream and spread. Add another layer of cookies. Repeat until you top it off with a thin layer of whipped cream.

Cover and refrigerate for 24 hours or until the cookies are perfectly soft.

PRINTABLE RECIPE

Linked to Sweets for a Saturday

Mini Banana Chocolate Pops

I don't know about your neck of the woods, but here it is suddenly hot. On Monday I was making a nice soup and then yesterday, as my son put it, "Ever since I got home from school, I've been sweating." Which was very true. That night I finally broke down and turned the AC on, only to find the air cool but not cold, only to find that the AC would not even bring the temperature of the house down one degree. Sigh.

So today we're on to cold things. These are just about as easy as they come. Though not as perfectly nutritious as these or this, they still have something substantial at their core (which isn't to say your kids won't eat the chocolate off the banana and leave it to become a sliming mess on the table as my youngest did--It's like that old saying goes, "You can lead a horse to water, but he might eat the chocolate off and leave the rest." Don't you just love old sayings?)

Anyway, I thought they were really good, though they did give me a little teeth freeze. I didn't mind; it's toasty 'round here.

Mini Banana Chocolate Pops
adapted from Everyday Food
Makes 8
Prep time: 5 minutes
Freeze time: 30 minutes
Cost: $.90
(bananas: .30, chocolate: .60)

2 large ripe bananas, cut into 4 or 5 pieces
3/4 C chocolate chips
2-3 Tbsp milk
sprinkles if you wish

Cut your bananas into 4-5 pieces. Place them on a pan with wax paper or parchment paper. Stick toothpicks or small skewers in them. Freeze for at least 30 minutes.

When bananas are ready, combine chocolate chips and milk in microwave safe bowl. Microwave in 20-30 second intervals, stirring in between. (If it's too thick, add a little more milk and heat and stir. It should be thick, but not unspreadable.)

Remove bananas from freezer and spread chocolate onto each one. I just used a spoon and globbed and spread. Globbing and spreading is often my method of choice (maybe you should know this before asking me to make you a birthday cake). You're going to glob and spread around the outside edge (of course you could glob and spread the top and bottom too, but that might not be nutritious, right?). Put them back on the was paper and sprinkle (be sure to get those sprinkles on quickly or the chocolate will set and they won't stick). Repeat with other bananas.

If your chocolate becomes too hard to work with, throw it in the microwave for another 15 seconds and then have at it again.

The chocolate will freeze pretty quickly to the frozen bananas so you can eat these immediately if you wish. Otherwise put them back in the refrigerator. Once they're fully set, you can store them in a Ziploc bag.

And you're done. You can eat these straight out of the freezer, but if you'd like to avoid serious tooth freeze, take them out and give them 4-5 minutes before you bite in (they'll still be cold, but not quite as hard).

PRINTABLE RECIPE

Reese's Bars in Two Movements

Today I present to you Reese's Bars.

And their whole grain cousin.

Reese's Bars are all over the web right now. And with good reason. They taste like Reese's cups and take at most 5 minutes to whip up, and they're so much cheaper than Reese's Cups (this is a very rough estimate, but at $.75 for 2 Reese's Cups, this batch of Reese's Bars is worth about $12 and it only costs $4.50 to make). Plus, you can have a whole pan-ful of them yourself if you make them. Wait. Maybe that's a bad reason.

At any rate, we had a bunch of friends over last week and I decided to make them. And then, for reasons I don't even really understand myself, but which probably had to do with a rash of breakfast cookie experimentation last week, it came into my mind to use oat flour in place of the graham cracker crumbs for one pan. We'll just call it inspiration.

As indeed it was. The fun thing about serving two different versions of the same food and forcing your guests to taste one of each is that you get a pretty good idea of which is the most popular.

I have to tell you they were both pretty popular. And that people liked both versions, even when they had a favorite. But at the end of the night more of the oat version was gone. There were only 4 pieces left as opposed to nearly half of the other pan. The oat version is also cheaper by nearly a dollar. However, I should tell you this: my favorite was the graham cracker one. Yeah, I know, clearly I wasn't thinking skinny thoughts. Or, well, whole grain thoughts, since neither version could really be considered, um, skinny.

Which brings me to one final thought. These may look like cookies, but they're really--as one of my friends pointed out--more of a candy. It's just something to keep in mind when you're cutting yourself (or watching your kids cut) an enormous bar. Not that I'm telling you how to live your life (although I'd be happy to tell your kids how to live their lives if you think it would help {pssst--it won't}); you can eat the whole darn pan if you want to. I just wanted to warn you that you can get sugared up on them pretty easily, so just beware; and please drive responsibly.

Reese's Bars (with optional oat flour adaptation)
adapted from Baker Lady
Makes 9x13 inch pan
Prep time: 5 minutes
Wait time: 30 minutes
Cost: $4.45 for graham cracker version; $3.55 for oat version
butter: .50, graham cracker crumbs: 1.30, oats: .35, sugar: .40, peanut butter: 1.25, chocolate chips: 1.00

1 C butter, melted
2 C graham cracker crumbs, finely ground (or 2 C oat flour)
2 C confectioner's sugar
1 1/4 C peanut butter
1 1/2 C semi-sweet chocolate chips

If you don't have pre-prepared graham cracker crumbs or oat flour, throw graham crackers (about 2 sleeves) or oats (probably about 4 cups, but I'm guessing here) into a blender and go to town until you have a flour-like substance.

Mix butter, crumbs, sugar, and peanut butter until it's a nice paste. Press this into a 9x13 inch pan and chill until set (about 30 minutes).

When your peanut stuff is set, melt your chocolate chips in the microwave by microwaving in 30 second intervals, mixing in between, until the chocolate is all melted. Pour this on top of your peanut layer and spread quickly (because your peanut layer is cold and your chocolate is going to start to set up quickly). Let the chocolate set up (it won't take too long since your peanut layer is cold).

Cut and eat. I refrigerated these and preferred them brought to room temperature for purposes of both cutting and eating. They were softer and just tastier to eat when not cold and they were much easier to cut; when at room temperature, the chocolate didn't break into pieces during cutting and it adhered to the peanut butter layer better.

PRINTABLE RECIPE

A Take on Two-Ingredient Mousse

Around Valentine's Day, I saw this article on Yahoo for two-ingredient mousse. Come on, you were intrigued too, weren't you? It promised a perfect mousse through the heating of water and dark chocolate and then the whipping of the now-melted concoction over ice. The science behind it was that this would whip it much like whipped cream or homemade mayonnaise--the water would become suspended in the fat and as it cooled it would take form.

It certainly looked perfect on the post--very mousse-y and very chocolate-y. And the comments weren't half bad either. I had to try it. I didn't even feel guilty trying it. This was dark chocolate and water for Pete's sake. Decadent desserts don't get much more virtuous than that.

For me, the tricky part was whipping it until it was just right. The first time I did it, it got it too hard. So I had to melt it and re-do it. That time it came out okay, though not as light as I had expected it to be from the pictures on the original post. I gave it a couple more tries, you know, for science's sake and all. What I got each time mousse-ish, but still not as light and perfect as I consider mousse to be (don't ask me how they got that last picture on the original post--I expect it's doctored--that or the result of 100's of tries). (Issue #1.) The other problem was that if you don't eat it within the first hour or so, it gets really hard. It is still different than eating a chocolate bar--it is much less dense. But it wasn't at all like eating mousse either. What I had after several hours in the fridge was a concoction in solid form--it's just that it had more air whipped in so that it was lighter per square inch than a bar of chocolate. (Issue #2.) We ate it anyway and yes, it tasted yummy. Though not really any yummier than eating a bar of dark chocolate, and for a lot more work. (Issue #3.)

Sounds like I had a lot of issues with this, doesn't it. Though clearly I wasn't exactly hating this stuff since I decided to give it a try with part water, part whipping cream. And then, heck, while I was at it, with all whipping cream--essentially a whipped ganache (again, of course, for science). The results were interesting. You could visibly see which mousse was which. They got lighter in color and bigger in volume with the addition of more cream.

(Sorry for the lousy picture. I use it to show that these are all the same 2 ounces of chocolate, but the one with whipping cream was nearly double in size as the original made with water--note how high they go to the ridge near the rim. It was also--naturally--considerably lighter in color.)

The one with half water, half whipping cream had the most mousse-like consistency of the lot--light and airy, yet with an almost pudding like look when you scooped it up with a spoon. However, it was the worst-tasting of the three (I didn't say bad-tasting; they were all delicious; but it was the worst of the three). The original dark one was wondefully dark chocolate-y and the one made with all whipping cream instead of water was really creamy and delicious. All three hardened up after a night in the refrigerator. And all three--although good--just weren't, well, mousse.

Which brings me to Issue #4 and the point of most annoyance for me: This wasn't mousse. Whipping chocolate does not a mousse make. It might make something that is mousse-like in appearance and texture (though only if you eat it within your first hour of whipping). But mousse is its own thing. The article claimed that their two-ingredient mousse was super chocolate-y because it was unencumbered by things like eggs, cream, and sugar. But things like eggs, cream, and sugar (with air beat into them, yes) are what make a mousse a mousse.

So, while this was good, don't expect it to taste like a mousse. Expect it to taste like Whipped Chocolate Delight.

And speaking of Whipped Chocolate Delight, tune in next time when--all in the name of science--I experiment with a whipped chocolate delight made with orange juice in place of the water. It might have to wait though because science and my belly need to communicate a little better (and science seriously needs to send a memo to my waistline while it's at it) because I'm feeling a little full.

Think I'm the crazy one with issues (I won't argue) and want to try Two-Ingredient Mousse, you'll find the recipe here.

To make it with cream:

Substitute all or half of the water with whipping cream.

Also, throwing in some vanilla or another type of flavoring might be exciting.

Cheater 'Smores

Cheap Eat Challenge, Part 2: Watch as our family of 6 eats on less than $10/day.

(I know, I know; the pictures on the blog just keep getting better. What can I say? It was dark; it was a party.)

Tonight we had a marshmallow roast/'smores fest with some friends. I went to the store to buy some supplies and, while standing in the candy aisle in a stupor, wondered if I shouldn't try something new with the smores--Twix or Reese's or something else between the crackers. Or maybe I should go the other way and use some kind of cookie to sandwich the chocolate and marshmallow--like a chocolate chip cookie or a Nilla Wafer. But I just couldn't do it. Apparently, I'm a traditionalist.

So what did our first guest show up with? Deluxe Grahams. She said her parents always used them to sandwich a marshmallow. Brilliant. Absolutely brilliant. You get a two for one with the chocolate graham cookie and you have a simple 'smore with Kip's favorite store bought cookie. Oh, sure, I'm still a fan of the traditional sort, but these were good; they were great. And they were easy. The only problem is that Kip is still snacking on the Deluxe Grahams.

Peanut Butter Balls

Cheap Eat Challenge, Part 2: Watch as our family of 6 eats on less than $10/day.

My mother made these for us when we were kids. Happy sigh. I believe they're still a favorite treat of my littlest brother, but then maybe I just have the poor man frozen forever in childhood.

In addition to being hopelessly nostalgic, these are a quick dessert staple around here. In fact, if you have a look at my food journal often enough, you'll notice them popping up quite frequently. They're the perfect treat when your kids come in at 7:00, needing to get ready for bed, but telling me they're starving and begging for dessert. I also like that they give a little calorie/protein punch in the evening. This is not the type of thing middle aged women need, but kids who eat at 5:00 and then play for a couple hours are sometimes getting hungry just before bed.

So why the heck haven't I posted the recipe before? Recipe? Who said anything about a recipe? I throw some peanut butter in a bowl, add some chocolate chips, then some powdered sugar. Oh, and I rarely actually roll them into balls (though I'm pretty sure my apparently-more-loving-than-I mother did). I just plop them down, a la raw cookie blob.

For you, Savannah and I rolled them up nice and neat. Oh, and I measured out the ingredients too.

Want to get fancy? 
-Add some cream cheese to the peanut butter. This will give them a more grown up flavor. (Have a look here for an idea of how much.)
-Dip them, entirely or halfway, in melting chocolate.
-Include white chocolate chips.
-Add nuts, raw or lightly toasted.
-Add coconut. Yeah, I love it in everything. You can also add dried cranberries or raisins to good effect.
-Add a dusting of confectioner's sugar or cinnamon on top.

Peanut Butter Balls
Makes about 20 small balls
Prep time: 5 minutes
Cost: $.75
(PB: .30, sugar: .25, chocolate chips: .20)

1/3 C peanut butter
2/3-1 C powdered sugar (I try to keep these healthier--not healthy mind you, but healthier--by adding less sugar. Of course this results in a much looser ball, one you might even be inclined to refer to as a blob. My kids don't care. However, if you want them to look neat, pretty, and to roll easily, you'll need more sugar.)
3-6 Tbsp chocolate chips (depending on how very generous you are; I'm stingy)

Put peanut butter in a bowl. Add chocolate chips and mix. Add sugar. Start with the smaller amount and continue adding more as needed to get it to a consistency you consider firm enough. Roll into balls if you're a proactive person. Whether you're proactive or not, make sure the toddler doesn't shove them all into her mouth at once and choke.

PRINTABLE RECIPE

Pace Peach Cobbler

Cheap Eat Challenge, Part 2: Watch as our family of 6 eats on $10/day.

The only sad thing about this cobbler is that I failed to take even one single decent final picture. This may have something to do with the fact that it was made and muchly consumed while my sister and her kids were here. Of course this was a lot of fun, but it didn't leave a whole lot of extra time or, um, counter space. Truth be told, the colorful nude peaches are more of a centerfold beauty than the finished product anyway.

Cobbler and the lovers thereof fall into 2 distinct groups. One group likes a biscuit-y cobbler. I expect that this is the more traditional of the two--a simple sweet biscuit batter atop lovely ripe peaches. I won't turn this down if you offer it to me, but I admit that I am more in the 2nd camp of cobbler aficionados--that of the cake-y cobblers. These have peaches (or, you know, whatever fruit you wish) topped with a batter that is slightly sweeter and wetter--one much more like cake batter. The problem with being in this second camp is that cake-y cobblers are much much too often made with a cake mix. And, not to be an annoying food snob or anything, but you have to work really hard to get me to like a recipe made with a cake mix. Oh, they exist. But they are very few and very far between. And they don't include cobblers.

And so it is fortunate that I married into Kip's family because they make the most wonderful from scratch cake-y cobblers in the world. I first discovered this when Kip and I were dating and I went to his sister's house for dinner. She served this cobbler and, oh, it was some kind of wonderful. And then after Kip and I were married his mom brought a bunch of right on ripe peaches from their tree and we made this cobbler with them. If you have peaches that are so ripe they will be overripe tomorrow, this recipe will take you to cobbler nirvana. If not, don't despair because this can be made with any peaches, including frozen ones and even some good canned ones (although I highly recommend fresh, ripe ones).

As if from-scratch cake-y goodness isn't good enough, this cobbler also has a sugary glaze on top. Yes sir, it does.

Pace Peach Cobbler
make 8x8 inch pan
prep time: 15 minutes
Bake time: 45-60 minutes
Cost: $1.68
(peaches: 1.00, butter: .21, flour: .14, milk: .08, sugar: .25)

2-3 C peaches, peeled and sliced (line the bottom of your pan and then pile them higher if your like your cobbler nice and fruity)

Batter:

3 Tbsp butter
1 tsp baking powder
1 C all-purpose flour
3/4 C sugar
dash salt
1/2 C milk

Glaze:

3/4 C sugar
3/4 C boiling water

Directions:
Layer peaches on the bottom of an 8x8 inch pan.

To make the batter:
Combine dry ingredients. Cut in butter with a food processor, pastry blender, or by mushing it in with your fingers. Alternately you can just whip out the beaters and blend it in that way. Add milk and mix briefly.

You can see here that it will be slightly wetter than a biscuit dough:

Plop the batter over the peaches and spread it out with a knife or spatula.

Sprinkle the remaining 3/4 C sugar over this and then slowly pour the boiling water over the whole thing.

Put in oven and bake at 350 for 45-60 minutes. When it's done it should be golden on top and when you stick a fork (or cake tester for the more refined) in, it should come out with a few moist crumbs. You don't want it dough-y, but you don't want it dry either.

I like it best warm with ice cream. (Whipped cream works too. As does eating it cold out of the pan, not that I would ever do such a thing.)

PRINTABLE RECIPE

I've linked this and my crepes to Sweets for a Saturday.