Five Ways to Use Mediocre Fruit

(yeah, some of them are healthy--I'm just trying to draw you in with this picture)

You know that 1/2 pint of blackberries you got for $1.69. Maybe it was even a bit of a splurge. I mean, it's such a tiny bit of fruit--just a serving or two, but you'd been unable to walk past them without tossing a clam shell into your cart. And they'd been so good all summer. Well, they're not anymore--when you open this batch, it's tart and/or bitter, with a few moldy ones thrown in for good measure. Yes, you could take them back to the store, but the cost of gas would be nearly as much as the blackberries themselves. And then there's the precious precious cost of your time. You'll just have to toss the blackberries. No! Wait! says your friendly, cheapskate friend (um, that's me, in case you were wondering why you let a crazy voice into your head). There are plenty of awesome things you can do with that fruit that comes to you in less than perfect form. Here are some ideas.

1. Baked goods. Fruit like berries, apples, pears, peaches, plums, and--of course--bananas go very well in muffins, sweet breads, and pancakes. Crumbles, crisps, and pies can also rock your mediocre fruit. Even if you only have a handful, that'll be great with pancakes. Or to add a pop of color to a pie with some other type of fruit. You can just throw a handful into your favorite baked goods. Or try them in one of these recipes. No-rise blueberry cinnamon rolls. Blueberry Pie Bars. Raspberry bars. One Bowl Oat Muffins. Peach Crisp (works with apples or pears too). Pancakes (this is a simple go-to pancake that holds fruit well; there are others on this site like Quinoa pancakes that also rock)

2. Smoothies. I often freeze my imperfect fruit and then throw it into the blender with milk or apple juice to make smoothies. You can keep your different fruits in different bags, or throw them all into the same freezer bag and make a "garbage" smoothie--a smoothie from all those ends or imperfect fruits you've got hanging around. The big appeal here is that you don't have to think about what to do with the fruit immediately. It's just sitting there waiting for you to get a smoothie craving.

3. Flavored syrup. This one's kind of my favorite. It's just so awesome and foody and sexy, but not too hard. This works best with berries or soft fruits. This is the type of pretty little thing you can gift a friend if you'd like because it's pretty and interesting. And so much 10 million times better than those colored corn syrups you'll find on the tables at Ihop. Use them as pancake toppings or ice cream toppings. Or pancakes topped with ice cream toppings if you have, you know, problems. Use this recipe for your berry syrups. In the picture above I used my very mediocre blackberries (the very blackberries that may or may not have inspired the start of this post). If you'd rather have more of a sauce, go here.

4. Salads. Fruit doesn't have to be perfect if you'll be pouring a savory or sweet dressing over top of it. I think that fruit works well with many lettuce-based or grain-based salads. So next time you're ready to toss your fruit, consider throwing it into your salad bowl instead. Berries go great with spinach. Apples or pears are nice with crispy sweeter greens. And I think most fruit would add a nice touch to arugula. Throw on some goat cheese or feta if you want to feel even more awesome and sophisticated. And try one of these dressings with your fruity salad. Lame citrus (or even pears or apples) could go in this Citrus Quinoa Salad. This Orange Vinaigrette would work with bland citrus, pears, apples, or berries. Use it with lettuce or leafy greens or both. This Balsamic Vinaigrette would be lovely with strawberries (or other berries). Ditto this Hot Honey Vinaigrette. This sweet Tree House dressing could rock any fruit (or nut). And this Rainbow Salad already calls for apples and could handle any other fruit you threw at it too.

5. Coat it with sugar. I know, I know. You just had to add a point to your Weight Watchers chart when you read that. Still,  even though this might not be the picture of perfectly healthy fruit, it's a heck of a lot better than fruit snacks. In fact, I think it makes for a nice after school snack. I mean, it does beat the classic chocolate chip cookie in healthfulness. And these are really pretty for guests too. You can simply coat them in sugar or whipped cream. Or you can go pure awesome, and candy them like this.

Homemade Greek Yogurt for Dummies (Crock Pot)

I mean, really. It's so easy it will change your life forever.

And it will save you a stinking butt load of money if you like Greek yogurt. For $2 (TWO DOLLARS!) I got no less than 10 cups (TEN CUPS!) Greek yogurt--that's $.20/cup if you're math impaired (don't worry--math unnecessary for this recipe; brains in general unnecessary for this recipe). Twenty cents for creamy, perfect Greek yogurt.

You can eat it with anything. I like it for breakfast with some jam mixed it. My kids like it best blended with jam and put into popsicle molds and frozen. My friend serves it as a dessert. She mixes it with jam and then adds a squirt of whipped cream to the top. But don't think it can only be served sweet. This thick Greek yogurt can be used as a substitute for sour cream and cream cheese. It can be used in savory dips, for ranch dressing, with tacos.

And in case you missed the whole Greek yogurt bandwagon (or were maybe too poor to buy a ticket), Greek yogurt is awesome and loveable because it is a) delicious and creamy, b) higher in protein, lower in sugar (lactose), and lower than sodium than regular yogurt. And did I mention creamy awesomeness? It's also just way versatile--it can really be subbed for a lot of things.

Let me say that making yogurt is not entirely new to me. I even have a yogurt maker (which I may now sell) that has cute little cups with lids. I used it faithfully when we lived in California, but when we moved here, it became cost INeffective. I couldn't find small amounts of plain yogurt and after I'd bought 32 oz of plain yogurt, well then it seemed silly to bother making little cupfuls of yogurt. And my homemade yogurt always came out somewhat runny. This is true of yogurt. Most (if not all) of what we find in the store has been artificially thickened--cornstarch and gluten are both in Dannon. Homemade yogurt tends to be thinner. Real Greek yogurt, on the other hand, is thick because much of the whey has been strained out of it. But because of that, it is often very expensive. Thus, for the last several years I haven't made my yogurt; I've just bought it. Until the fateful day when my friend (the dessert yogurt making one) brought over some yogurt with raspberry jam in it. It was better than ice cream. Oh, yes, it was. Thick, creamy, and beautiful. And it had cost her almost nothing. And it had been stupidly easy. Now that's what I'm talking about. Because many of the other homemade yogurt recipes I knew of (the ones without the handy yogurt-maker) seemed hard. There seemed to be lots of variables that could cause it to fail. Some required you to double boil your milk (I double boil nothing, people, nothing). Some gave detailed instructions for putting it in a cooler or oven and then keeping it consistently warm but not hot. If you got too cool or too hot, you'd wind up with curdled, runny nasties instead of yogurt. Yes, it was all too frightening. I needed fail proof. I needed dummy proof. I needed distracted mom proof. My friend provided that.

She had used a pot to make the yogurt. You can too if you don't have a crock pot. A regular pot works great, but it requires more of your attention. A crock pot, on the other hand, requires only a one-minute attention span and perhaps and IQ of 32 or so.

Now, what do you do? Let me pull back the curtain so you can be amazed.

1. Put 1 gallon whole milk into your crock pot. Put lid on. Heat until 180 degrees. This should take between two and four hours (depending on your crock pot). If you don't have a thermometer (though one is useful), it will be bubbly/foamy all over on top without actually boiling.
2. Remove lid and let cool to 110-115 degrees (if you don't have a thermometer, this will feel warm when you stick your finger in, but not hot--this is the temperature you'd kind of want to get baby formula to--warm, but nothing that would scald a baby's throat).
3. Add 1/2 C PLAIN yogurt and whisk it in. (I add yogurt to a small amount of milk and whisk in order to keep it from lumping up. Then I put that into the big pot of milk and whisk.)
4. Put lid back on.
5. Put crock pot in oven for 6-8 hours. You don't have to heat your oven or leave the oven light on. You don't have to do ANYTHING. The crock pot provides natural insulation, so it doesn't cool too quickly and the oven provides a space to trap the necessary warmth for your yogurt to yogurtify (it should be kept at a fairly stable 110 degrees; it does this naturally in a crock pot in the oven, so don't worry). That said, I would not recommend you put it into a cold oven (not a problem for us in the summer, but in winter it gets chilly around here). If your oven is cold, turn it on for 1 minute BEFORE you put the yogurt in. Then turn it off. Then put the yogurt in. (Ah, now the IQ requirements have moved up to 45). It will need 6-8 hours to yogurtify. It's nice if you can time this overnight. If you do it during the day, you may want to put a little post it note on your oven that says, "Do not turn on." I do this (yes, I do) because if you or someone you love comes in and decides to make cookies and pre-heats the oven before realizing there's yogurt in there, your yogurt will be ruined and you will be sad.
6. When you take it out, you'll have regular yogurt. Reserve 1/2 C of this for your next batch of yogurt and put that 1/2 C in the fridge.

 (It will look like this.)

7. Now: You can eat the rest of the yogurt regular-style if you want (it was actually a little thicker than that which my yogurt maker used to make). But I HIGHLY recommend straining it and making Greek yogurt (because it's awesome, that's why). Get a tea towel. Put it over a colander, and strain your yogurt. You can do this in the sink if you don't want the whey. Or you can strain it over a pan or large pot/bowl if you want the whey (Note: Whey can be used as a milk or buttermilk substitute in some recipes. It works well in muffins and things like that. That said, I throw my whey away most of the time (unless I know I'm making muffins or something soon). Lazy, I know. Straining will take between two and six hours depending on how thick you want your yogurt. I like mine thick. You might give it a stir after 2 hours to get it to strain more quickly.

And you're done. You will have a TON of Greek yogurt. In Evansville, we can currently get milk for $1.69 at Aldi. And then you'll need a bit of plain yogurt as a starter. Greek yogurt from the store occasionally goes on sale for $1.00/6 oz., but is usually much more. The nice brands can cost as much as $5.00(ish) for 16 oz. or so.

Now to answer some questions:

1. Do I need an instant read thermometer? No, but it is helpful; it takes any and all guesswork away from the process. And you will pretty much earn back the cost of your $9 thermometer in the first yogurt making, so it's a reasonable purchase. Still you don't have to have one. You just might need an IQ slightly higher than 32.
2. What will I do with all that yogurt? The sky is the limit. If you make this stuff, you can stop buying yogurt, sour cream, and (in some cases) cream cheese. You can make amazing smoothies and popsicles. You can do tons of stuff with it. 
3. Do I have to use whole milk? Probably not, but I always do. Still, I'm pretty sure you can make it with any type of cow's milk . However, I won't vouch for taste. True Greek yogurt is whole fat. It's only us Americans who've freaked out about that and developed lower fat versions. It is my opinion that skim Greek yogurt isn't really Greek yogurt at all. It is skim, strained yogurt. Eat it if you want. But my other opinion is that fat (without a lot of sugar) is NOT the enemy. I think natural fats are healthy and filling and great.
4. Why do I heat it and then let it cool? I don't have a complete scientific answer for you. All I know is that if you heat it to 180 you wind up with thicker yogurt than if you don't. I imagine you don't have to heat it that much. I know there are even raw yogurt recipes out there. You'll just likely end up with thinner yogurt. Of course, you'll be straining it, so will still end up with thick Greek yogurt--you'll just have a bit less of it because more will have strained out.
5. How do I make it on the stove top? Let's say you don't have a crock pot. You can still make this stove top. It's best to do when you have other jobs to do in the kitchen because it takes a while to heat and needs to be stirred occasionally so you don't want to burn on the bottom. (You can cook it faster, but you'll have to stir frequently or even constantly so it doesn't burn on the bottom.) Also, you'll want to make it in a heavy pot. The time I made it on the stove top, I used a porcelain-covered Dutch oven pot (WITH A LID). You need to do this because when you put it in the oven, it needs a sort of heat-holding pot. Otherwise it will cool too quickly and not set properly. I suppose you could use a normal pot and insulate it with towels or something, but for me the IQ requirements and fail factor get too high with that.
6. Can I make less? Probably. The problem you're going to come up against with this no fail method is that if you only have a little milk/yogurt in your pot, it will cool off faster. If it cools off too fast in your oven, you'll wind up with runny, curdled mess, not yogurt. If you really really want to make less, I recommend putting it in a small cooler instead of an oven. Or you might just have to babysit your oven a bit more and turn it on here or there throughout the setting process to ensure that your yogurt doesn't get too cool. Anyway, I'd really encourage you to make more simply because yogurt lasts a long time, which leads to...
7. How long does it last? I don't know. Ha. Because it's never gone bad on us and we've kept it in the fridge for upwards of two weeks. I imagine it would last a good month, maybe two, but can't promise that. I will try to do a little experiment next time I make yogurt and set some aside and see how long it takes for it to go bad.

How to Know When an Avocado Is Ripe

I'd never eaten an avocado until I was an adult. And after that, it was a really hit or miss experience for me. I didn't like my avocados under ripe and as a result I would generally let them ripen and ripen until the skin was entirely dark and the area around the stem was quite wrinkled and the fruit was softish. Then I'd open my avocado up and occasionally I'd get a decent avocado, but much more often I'd have a nice rotten piece of fruit. I blamed stores for this--stores with their hopelessly bad avocado selection. This went on for years.

Then, the last time I visited my sister, she showed me how she could tell if an avocado was ripe. And it worked. Every time. Every single time.

You ready?

Your avocado is ripe when the little stemmy area is just about ready to fall out. If you wiggle it, it will start to pull off and sometimes even pull off completely. Then your avocado is ripe and you can cut into it with full confidence. Every time. Every single time.

(See, when I wiggled this guy, the stem came off, but it took a little wiggle. By which I mean, I didn't touch it and it fell off--if that had happened, it would have been a little over ripe.) 

Ahh, avocado perfection, right there.

By way of warning, I should say that you must start with a decent avocado--one that is a nice, firm fruit. Not one that is bruised or squishy.

Also, for this to work, you've got to get an avocado with a little stemmy thing still on. I haven't found this to be too much of a challenge.

The great thing about this tip is that it also helps with meal planning. If you need the avocado soon, then pick one from the store with a wiggly-about-to-fall-off stemmy thing. If you need it in a few days or a week, pick one with a stemmy thing that is still pretty firmly stuck to its fruit.

How to Brown Butter

As promised...

Brown butter and I...we love each other. Essentially you are burning your butter (oh, just a bit), but it's so much easier and more forgiving than burning, say, sugar (think caramel). All it asks is that it not be blackened. I can (usually) manage that. And it adds a depth to your foods made with butter--it has more flavors than just creamy and rich. It has nutty and caramel-y and roast-y (and creamy and extra rich).

First off, you can brown your butter slow on low heat, or quick on high heat. Slow takes just forever and I don't usually do it. High inevitably leads to me getting distracted and burning the stuff. So I do it on medium. It takes 10-20 minutes. 

Here's how you do it:

1. Melt butter in a pan on medium heat. It will look like, ahem, melted butter--a light yellow color, creamy and fairly consistent throughout.

2. As it cooks, it will begin to separate. You'll have the oily part on the bottom and the lighter foamy looking part on the top (the solids).

(Different pan, I know, but this picture shows it a little better.)

3. Tilt the pan every few minutes. You don't have to hover over it, but do keep your eye on it.

4. Eventually it will start to darken a bit and you'll notice that it's smell is changing to a nuttier smell (whereas before it just smelled like melted butter).

5. It will start to bubble--just a gentle boil. Keep it gentle or you're likely to burn the stuff. Take it off the heat if it's starting to boil too much and wait for your burner to cool off a bit. Tilt your pan frequently or stir it gently with a wooden or metal spoon (plastic will melt unless it's made to be heated high like most silicone).

6. It will continue to darken. Some of the solids may sink to the bottom and get a little darker than the oily part. That's okay. Just don't let them get black.

7. When you're done, it will be...wait for it... brown. Wow. What a revelation. It can range from a caramel-colored brown to a more copper or even chestnut brown.  Imagine that it's toast. Your toast can be a light color or a dark color. But most of us don't like it black or that really really dark brown that looks almost like black until it catches the light. (Should I be embarrassed that I'm giving this much thought to butter?) The darker it is, the more flavorful it will be, but there's always a small risk when you push the envelope. There's less risk with butter than with sugar, but you still don't want it burned. Here's a lighter and darker version:

8. Once it's ready, pour it into a dish (one that can withstand really hot things because this is really hot). This will keep it from continuing to cook in the pan.

Now it's ready for cookies or icing or fish or puddings or any other delights you can dream up.

PRINTABLE INSTRUCTIONS

How to Make Greek Yogurt

First things first: What exactly is Greek yogurt?

Well, after a quick search on the Internet, the jury's still out on that one. Let's start with what we know.

Greek yogurt is:
-Thick and creamy.
-Yummy and popular.
-Expensive.
-Higher in protein and (I believe) those good bacterial cultures.
-Strained. Meaning that--gasp--it's really just normal yogurt that has been strained so that much of the whey (watery stuff you find on your yogurt) has been removed. This explains the higher nutritional content. It's essentially concentrated yogurt, so naturally many of the nutrients are also concentrated.
-Besides being just normal yogurt that has been strained, it is often higher in fat. I read that the authentic stuff can range from 4%-10% fat. This is where the jury starts to get confused. When Greek yogurt first came out in America, it really did seem to be full-fat (3.5-4%). And then came the 2% kinds and sure enough the skim varieties were soon to follow, leaving us with a decidedly Americanized version of Greek yogurt. Oh well. I guess this is why Americans are so skinny while those Greek people are morbidly obese. Oh, wait.

Anyway, sarcastic digs at our low-fat culture aside, Greek yogurt is really easy to make. And by "make" I don't mean actually make, (although you could do that too; making yogurt really isn't so crazy; I've even seen a recipe for it in the crock pot). By "make" I mean to create from normal plain yogurt.

How To Make Greek Yogurt

You'll need:
-A cheesecloth, tea towel, or several layers of coffee filters.
-A bowl.
-A strainer or clothes pins.
-Regular yogurt

Note: I know these instructions look long and detailed, but this is really crazy easy. I was just trying to be very clear.

1. Get your bowl. 


2. Put a tea towel (or cheesecloth or layers of coffee filters) over top the bowl.


3. Secure the towel with clothes pins. If you don't have clothes pins because you are wacky full of character enough to want to make Greek yogurt, but not yet wacky full of character enough to hang your clothes on a line, you can put a strainer over your bowl and then place the tea towel over that.
Note: I use tea towels because that's what I have. I've tried several layers of coffee filters and they work too, but they aren't quite as sturdy or, when layered thick, quite as porous and I prefer the towels. If using towels, they will need to be well-washed afterwards possibly with bleach or they will get really stinky after a few times of mediocre washing.

4. Once your tea towel is secured over your bowl, dump your yogurt into it. You can use whatever milk fat you'd prefer. I've made it from skim and I've made it from full. (News flash: The full fat is a lot yummier, but they're both creamy and punchy and interesting.) You could probably even take vanilla or another flavored yogurt and make yourself a thick, creamy, flavored yogurt, but I haven't done this, so I make no promises.

5. Let it sit. I put mine loosely covered in the refrigerator. However, you can safely leave your yogurt on the counter for several hours. Remember that at its heart, yogurt is soured, thickened milk, so room temperature is not its sworn enemy.

This is how I loosely cover it--with the edges of the tea towel; we try to keep it simple around here.

Note: Letting it sit will take at least a couple of hours. The longer you leave it the thicker it will become. If you leave it overnight or for 24 hours, you will actually end up with something akin to a soft cheese--something, in fact, that can be used in place of cream cheese at least in savory recipes (I haven't tried it in sweet). This is kind of fun and it makes for a healthier alternative to cream cheese (more calcium and the bacterial cultures). If you buy brand name cream cheese, making your own is even cost effective. Anyway, you'll have to check it every few hours, and see when it gets to the thickness you like it.

Today, I left mine for about 6 hours.

Before:

After:

You can see how thick the yogurt has become. 

Today, I used this amazing full-fat yogurt that I intend to marry if Kip ever leaves me (ha, that'll show him). Today I used 6 ounces. After six hours, it weighed in at 3 ounces (which is a number so mathematically simple I could just kiss it, though I'm sure this number will vary somewhat depending on how much yogurt you dump into the bowl). The yogurt cost 6.99 for 5 pounds, which means that it cost approximately 6.99 for 2.5 pounds (or 40 ounces) of Greek yogurt. Which comes out to just over $1.00 for 6 oz of very thick full-fat Greek yogurt. Which is a pretty good price. If we had used cheap Aldi plain yogurt (at less than $2/2 lb, this would have been about $1.80/lb (or about .67 for 6 oz.), which is really not bad. And you still have the whey to throw into smoothies or use as a soup base if you wish. However, for me one of the big advantages of knowing how to make Greek yogurt is that you can do it even if your store doesn't carry Greek yogurt or if they still only carry fancy varieties. You can make it however thick you like. And, if thick enough, you can use it as a super healthy, super natural alternative for cream cheese or sour cream.

I'm hoping to use my new Greek yogurt on a healthy fruit pizza for dinner tonight. If it goes well you should see that recipe soon.