You ready for a dumb easy recipe that will change every bag of horrible grapes forever?
Surely I'm not the only person who occasionally ends up with a whole 2-pound bag of crappy grapes. And what do you do with them? I don't feel like grapes work well in smoothies, you can't make sweet bread out of them, I suppose you could juice them if you have a juicer, but many people don't and the juice is okay, but comes out kind of thin and sometimes chalky tasting if your grapes are particularly awful. So you either do the cheapskate thing and eat the nasty things. Or you do the non-cheapskate thing and throw them away. Neither is highly appealing to me.
But now... now I have the perfect solution for you. I recently got some awful grapes. Two whole bags--four pounds total. My kids wouldn't touch them. Every grape came home from the school lunches. And then I read about these candied grapes on Pinterest (good old Pinterest). The writer claimed they tasted just like sour patch candies. Also, they were dumb easy. And cheap. And super beautiful. In fact, I thought they would be perfect for a baby shower or party (you could coat them in pink or blue pretty easily).
I'm not going to pretend that these things are super healthy. They're not. But they're healthier than, say, cookies. Or fruit snacks. Or Sour Patch candies. Which is what they most remind me of. They are more along the lines of dessert that has some nutritional value. I can live with that.
I can especially live with that when my kids come home from school and snarf down an entire bunch of grapes they would not touch one day before. These babies really are a lot like candy--in flavor and even a bit in texture. If you are a lover of sour candy, you MUST try these grapes.
Here's what you do:
You coat grapes in dry Jello powder.
Now I know what you're thinking: Jello is Satan's dessert. Oh, wait, maybe that's what I was thinking. But you may be thinking it too, since it is true. Jello by itself is the most disgusting dessert I can think of. Why not just harvest boogers and sweeten them--that is how I feel about Jello. But in this recipe it worked PERFECTLY. They sweet and soured the grapes and the gelatin gave the grapes a little coating that kind of set (which you wouldn't get if you just rolled damp grapes in sugar). Jello is also cheap.
I tried three kinds--Tropical Fusion (Jello brand), Watermelon (Jolly Rancher brand--no, I didn't know that existed either, but if we've got it in Evansville, you probably have it too), Green Apple (Jolly Rancher brand). My favorite was watermelon, followed by Green Apple, but my kids loved them all and consumed them before I could get a cute picture so I had to make them again.
tropical fusion far left, green apple back, watermelon front
Sour Patch Grapes
Makes 2 pounds
Prep time: 5 minutes
Set time: 1 hour
grapes: $2 (Aldi prices), Jello: .64
Note: I made less than this and just saved the rest of my Jello powder by folding up the bag tight.
2 lb grapes
1 package flavored (and sugared) Jello
Remove grapes from stems. Rinse and let strain in a strainer. You do not want your grapes dripping, but you do not want them completely dry either. A damp grape is perfect.
Put Jello powder onto a plate or stretch of waxed paper. Put grapes on the plate (if you're doing 2 pounds, you're going to have to do this in batches) and shake the plate so the grapes roll around and get coated.
Let the grapes sit for an hour (you can eat them right after you make them, but if they set they're better and the texture is amazing and surprisingly candy-like).