Veggie Ranch Pizza

BEST OF THE TASTY CHEAPSKATE

 Somehow I missed posting yesterday. I think it's called: my-kids-were-off-school-for-a-week-and-I-lost-track-of-days-and-things-like-that. Anyway, I suddenly remembered today that I do, in fact, have a food blog and it is, in fact, Tuesday, not Monday. Le sigh.

So I'm rewarding you with my very favorite pizza recipe of all time. It can be started and finished in 40 minutes, even with a homemade dough. And it's comparable to a $5 pizza in price (it can be cheaper or more expensive depending on how many and what toppings you heap on there).

Instead of using a traditional marinara sauce, it uses a mayo ranch sauce that I personally feel goes with whatever vegetables (and meats) you want to heap onto this thing.

Truthfully, once you've got that magical ranch sauce going, you can put almost anything on this and it is divine. Originally, when we began making this we always used chicken. Then we branched out into other meats.

My favorite meats with this pizza: Pepperoni, bacon (oh bacon), chicken, sausage (we've even used polska kielbasa and it was amazing, like the love child of sausage and pepperoni). Or any combination thereof.

My favorite veggies: Olives, spinach, artichokes, thinly sliced (or grated) zucchini, mushrooms, grated carrots, green onions, regular onions (sliced VERY thin).

Favorite cheese: Mozzarella obviously, but on this pizza, it can be delicious combined with cheddar or Parmesan.

Favorite dough: My very favorite is this 2-minute dough. But I don't always have the foresight to make it ahead of time. For a quick dinner-hour dough, try this one.



One more note: Instead of the broccoli listed below, you can use broccoli and cauliflower or just cauliflower. It will be chopped until it is very small--almost crumb-like.

Okay, let's make this thing.

Veggie Ranch Pizza
Makes one jelly roll pan of pizza (yes, that's what we use) or two medium-sized round pizzas
Prep time: 20 minutes
Cook time: 15 minutes-ish
Cost: $5.80
dough: .40, mayo: .40, ranch powder: $1.00 (slightly more expensive if you buy individual packets; we buy the powder), meat: 1.00, broccoli: .50, veggies: .50, cheese: 2.00

Two-minute dough or Right-before-dinner Dough

2/3 C mayonnaise
1 packet Ranch powder (or 3 Tbsp)
1 SMALL head of broccoli (or 1/2 of a large one) chopped into smithereens (which is totally a cooking term; but seriously, you want it chopped until it's crumb-like
1/2 C Meat of your choice (about 1/2 C of chicken or bacon, or a bunch of pepperoni)
1/2-1 C Vegetables of your choice (about 1/2-1 C total)
8-12 oz. (or about 2 C) Mozzarella cheese, or a combination of mozzarella/cheddar/Parmesan

Make you dough. While it rests, combine mayonnaise with Ranch powder.

Spread your dough on a well-greased pan. I love to use olive oil to grease my pans for pizza. And if the dough gets sticky, you can add a little olive oil to your hands to make spreading easy.

Spread the Ranch/mayo on the dough.

Sprinkle the finely-chopped broccoli.

Add vegetables and meat.

Add cheese.

Bake at 400 degrees for about 15 minutes or until the edges of the cheese are beginning to brown just a bit.

Pizza Dip

(bleh; photos in the early evening darkness of winter; so hard)

I was going to do a post titled, "Three Healthy Soups When You're Feeling the Blahs," and that is still coming. Because sometimes with the cold weather and abundance of cookies, it gets really easy to feel the blahs. But today I wanted to address another December problem that sometimes contributes to eating the junk that contribute to feeling the blahs: Time. When you don't have time to cook, what do you do? You buy crap food. I know, we all do it sometimes. I do it too. I've felt it more keenly as I've been working the Santa Shop at my kids' school this week.

P.S. Teachers, a hundred hats off to you because just doing a fun Christmas shopping activity with kids can be pretty exhausting. Teaching the little lambs for seven hours a day. You all deserve a really long nap. And then this pizza dip.

Yes, pizza dip. Because it's better than going to Little Caesar's and helping yourself to a self-medicating dose of $5 pizza. It just is. It's basically the same sort of thing and it gives you the same self-medication you might need. But it's made with whole foods (well, whole-ish--I mean, that is a picture of pepperoni above) and it's not full of preservatives and chemicals. Seriously, it tastes better. And you'll notice that it feels better in your body too (even though it's still a far cry from the spinach soup I was planning to post). Also, it only takes 30 minutes to prepare, with less than 10 minutes of actual hands-on work. We all know that that's less time that it takes to drive to Little Caesars and place your order. And of course, it's cheap, coming in at a dollar a serving. 

Pizza Dip
serves 4
adapted from An Affair from the Heart
Prep time:
Cook time:
Cost: $4.45 (that's $1.10/serving)
cream cheese: .50, sour cream: .15, mayo: .10, mozzarella: .90, Parmesan: 1.00, pizza sauce: .80, bread: 1.00

4 oz cream cheese, softened
1/4 C sour cream
1/4 C mayonnaise
1 C shredded mozzarella cheese (divided)
1 C shredded Parmesan cheese (divided)
1/2 tsp oregano
1 C pizza sauce (I make my own, but any will do)
pepperoni or other toppings
bread for dipping (French or sour dough work nicely; sour dough is our favorite)

Combine cream cheese with sour cream and mayonnaise, 1/2 C mozzarella, 1/4 C Parmesan, and oregano. Spread into bottom of a deep dish pie plate or that size-ish casserole dish.

Top with pizza sauce, sprinkle with remaining cheeses. Add pepperoni or toppings.

Bake at 350 degrees for 20-25 minutes, or until bubbly and yum.

Serve with slices of bread or breadsticks.

PRINTABLE RECIPE

Two-Minute No Knead Pizza Dough

So apparently Gwyneth Paltrow is now on the food stamp budget bandwagon. She's gotten plenty of push back too and, while I admit that in some ways, she seems perfectly oblivious to the plight of some of us commoners, the push back is sometimes annoying to me too. One thing I read recently criticized her because she can go to the store and buy food as opposed to the poor who, apparently, cannot go anywhere at all ever. Except McDonald's. The article pretty much said that poor people can't make it to the store, that's why they have to eat fast food. Because as we all know, grocery stores are millions of miles away from poor people, but Taco Bells just sprout off of their poor people trees.

Listen. I don't think there's anything wrong with a person (poor or otherwise) going out for fast food now and again, but when journalists start talking about the poor as though they're destined to live off of cheeseburgers and Big Gulps, it gets my little britches all in a wad. It's just so unempowering (spell check says this is not a word), and in this unempowerment (also not a word), it's super insulting. If you're poor, then I guess you'll just be stuffing your face with cheap hamburgers.

Well, not today. Today we're making pizza. Beautiful, homemade pizza. We can do it if we're poor because it's inexpensive, delicious, and easy to make. Or we can do it if we're not poor because it's inexpensive, delicious, and easy to make. We can do it if we're anywhere in between because it's inexpensive, delicious, and easy to make. Oh sure, I hear you, Mr. Condescending Journalist--the poor don't have time to make homemade pizza. Well today they/we do. The dough takes two minutes--TWO minutes--of assembly time and can be thrown together (almost literally) the night before, the morning of, or that afternoon depending on your needs. (Note: It will need rise time, so some planning is necessary. Please don't tell me the poor cannot plan.) Add to this some 5-minute marinara sauce (or a can of $.99 Hunts if you will), and some mozzarella and you've got yourself a perfectly respectable poor man's meal that tastes like a rich man's meal. All together, a 15x12 inch cheese pizza with this dough will cost you about $3.50. In fact, you've got yourself a poor man's meal for 6--that's about $.60/serving (teenagers not yet included). Yes, you could go to Little Caesar's. And, again, I'd like to point out that there's nothing inherently wrong about that. But this dough tastes better. And has less sodium and sugar than a fast-food pizza. It's also a little cheaper and a little bigger (it can feed our whole family whereas a Little Caesar's pizza can't). And has been prepared by your very own hands. You can personalize it with any toppings you wish if you've got the cash and inclination for that.

You do have to get your booty to the grocery store at least once a year for these pantry stable ingredients, but I'm pretty sure if Gwyneth can do it, you can too.

Two-Minute No Knead Pizza Dough
adapted from Smitten Kitchen
makes enough dough for one large pizza
Cost: $.40
flour: .35, yeast: .05

Note: You'll use 1/8 tsp yeast for a 24-ish hour dough,
1/4 tsp yeast if you make your dough the morning of (12-ish hour rise time),
1/2 tsp yeast if you make it around lunch time (5-6-ish hour rise time),
3/4 if you make it a few hours before dinner (3-4-ish hour rise time).
I believe this dough is tastier and chewier the longer you leave it to sit, but I don't always plan ahead enough, which is why you have the higher yeast adaptations (and it's still yummy made that way too).

3 C flour (I used 2 1/2 C all-purpose and 1/2 C of white whole wheat for righteousness' sake)
1 1/4 tsp salt
1/8, 1/4, 1/2, or 3/4 tsp yeast depending on how long you want to let it sit (see note)
1 1/4 C water

Combine dry ingredients. Add water and stir. It'll look like a lump of craggy dough (different than kneaded dough).

Cover and let sit for up to a day.

Take it out  (it will now be slightly sticky, and less firm than that craggy dough was originally). Fold it a time or two into a ball. Spread it on your pan and top it as you will.

Bake at 400 degrees until your cheese is bubbly. (Note: Pizza pros often cook their pizza at much higher temps. You can. Sometimes I do too, but usually I make a medium-thick crust and keep it at 400 or 425. I'm not a pro, but it comes out pretty tasty nevertheless.)

PRINTABLE RECIPE

Dumb Easy Dinner: Pizza Crescents

This is the first installment of my Dumb Easy Dinner series--which is not to promise that I will post Dumb Easy Dinner posts on a particular day of every week or any such promise that I probably can't keep. It is to say that sometimes (okay, maybe often), I post recipes that are just too easy and awesome to pass up. From now on when I post them, they will have the lovely introduction/heading of "Dumb Easy Dinner." Now isn't that nice.

I may even, if I am gripped by loads of enthusiasm and energy, go through my own blog and highlight some of my past Dumb Easy Dinners (although--note: They were not called "Dumb Easy Dinners" because that is a new thing I am starting as of today. Thank you.)

Today we begin with these Pizza Crescent Wrap Ups that were a super ridiculously huge hit in our house and took all of 5.5 minutes of work for me (of course I scientifically measured the time it took by using precise scientific instruments, like guessing). They are not a whole food. But they're not total junk either. Especially if you dip them in a nice healthy marinara sauce. If you do that, then you can feel fully that you met the vegetable requirement for the night. If you serve a salad with this (even if it is a salad-from-a-bag), then you can consider yourself a bonafide Really Good Person. And that in less than 10 minutes of prep time.

If the idea of such an easy dinner is repulsive to you, then make them for your next party as an appetizer. 

The other intensely awesome thing about this meal is that it can be popped into a lunch box the next day and possibly compete with Lunchables for coolness.

(Look, it's just like those Pinterest moms.)

Pizza Crescents
adapted from Taste of Home
Makes 8 rolls, which will serve 2-4 people--not counting teenaged humans (we need to double or even triple this amount)
Prep time: 5 minutes
Cook time 12-14 minutes
Cost: $2.00 (that's $.50-1.00/serving)
crescents: 1.30 (Aldi prices), pepperoni: ..40, cheese: .30

1 package refrigerated crescent roll dough (the tubed stuff; yup--not a whole food)
16 round slices pepperoni
1/4-1/2 C mozzarella cheese

Unroll your dough and lay out the triangles.

Sprinkle cheese on each triangle. Put two pieces of pepperoni on each triangle.

Roll up as you would if you were making crescent rolls.

Bake according to the time requirements. Err on the side of too blond instead of too brown if you're going to err at all.

Eat with a little dip of marinara sauce thereby.

PRINTABLE RECIPE

Happy Fourth of July

Pizza Style:

Pizza Buns

Why is it so fun to take a pizza, roll it up, cut it, cook it, and then serve it as pizza buns? I don't know, but it is. I can't quite stress to you the funness and I'm surprised it didn't occur to me sooner. I admit that it takes a tiny bit more work and adds more time to the task. And yet, it's just fun. Sometimes cute ideas are just cute (like when people/bloggers cut tiny burrito shells, which they put in muffin tins and then fill and then cook instead of just wrapping up the dumb burrito and eating it already). But this one also has a practical side. I originally came across this idea under a "what to send for school lunch" category. And it is good for that. My kids don't seem to mind them cold (I guess kids eat Lunchables cold too right) and as lunches they're cute, compact, and hand-holdable (by which I mean that you can hold them in your hand, not that someone will hold your hand if you eat one, although maybe if you share one...) But anyway, they're good for school lunches. And they're good for playground dates or anywhere where you want to grab something quick and ready for your kid to eat. Though truthfully, I liked them best when they were hot. Bread, melty cheese and a bit of sauce all wrapped up and ready to go. They were fun to dip in marinara (or Ranch--Kip's favorite). They were just fun.

And they weren't much harder than pizza. But here I have to warn you that they did take longer than pizza. The dough must rise twice and that added a good 30 minutes to my prep time. Then they take a bit longer to cook as well. So while making them isn't harder than making pizza (well, not much), you should start them 2-2 1/2 hours before you want to eat unless you want to walk around your house with a starving child hanging to your leg and weeping hysterically. Although, hey, if that's your thing, you can totally start them whenever you want.

Pizza Buns
adapted from Simple As That
Makes 24-30 (or so) buns
Prep time: 15-20 minutes
Rise time: 1 1/2 hours (1 hour first rise; 30 minutes 2nd rise)
Cook time: 30 minutes
Cost: $3.25
flour: .50, sauce: .25, cheese: 2.00, pepperoni: .40, other stuff: .10

Note: You can use any pizza dough you normally would as long as it's not excessively sticky. You're going to need to roll these up after all.

1 1/2 C warm water
1 Tbsp sugar
1 Tbsp yeast
1/2 tsp salt
3 1/2-4 1/2 C flour (I used about 1 1/2 C whole wheat and the rest all-purpose)

Combine water, sugar, yeast, and salt. Mix.

Start with 2 C flour. Add and mix with a spoon. Gradually continue to add flour in 1/2 C increments, mixing as you go. When you get to the point that you can no longer mix, turn it out to need it. On a well floured surface need away until it's just barely tacky and soft and supple when you handle it (like a nice pillow of dough). (Or you can use a Kitchenaid if that's your thing.)

Let rise 1 hour.

Roll this out. I rolled mine into two rectangles.

Cover with pizza sauce (or pesto or whatever floats your boat). Add toppings that are chopped into smallish bits (we used pepperoni cut up into smaller bits) and plenty of cheese. Don't go and be all skimpy with the cheese. If you use too little your dough will poof out as this rises, then bakes and you'll be like "Where's the cheese?" So use close to as much as you would on a normal pizza.

(I wish I'd added more cheese than this.)

Now roll it up longways. Then cut into rounds with a very sharp knife.

Put those into a well-greased pan. I used a 9x13 and then an 8x8 (that's a lie--I used a weird sized pan for my second batch, but an 8x8 would have worked much better).

Let rise another 30 minutes.

Bake at 350 for 25-35 minutes until they're just starting to get some color and they're no longer doughy in the middle (sometimes if I'm not sure I violently pull one away from itself to check, but usually if the tops are browning, you're good.

Serve with a dipping sauce if you like evil and a nice salad if you don't.

PRINTABLE RECIPE

Spinach Artichoke Pizza

I made this one night when we had friends (and their 5 kids over). I made several pizzas--pepperoni, my ranch pizza, and this. It was a riff off of one of my favorite dips, and boy howdy, this pizza won the day. By a long shot. And I even burned the cheese a little and it was still much loved. Make it. Love it. Eat it.

Spinach Artichoke Pizza
makes 1 large (or even extra large) pizza
Prep time: 15 minutes (not counting crust here; just topping part)
Cook time: 15 minutes
Cost: $6.65
cream cheese: 1.00, mayo: .15, spinach: 1.00, artichoke hearts: 2.00, Parmesan cheese: 1.00, mozzarella cheese: 1.50

1 crust of your choosing (I usually do a breadmaker one, but I love this quick one too)
8 oz cream cheese
1/4 C mayonnaise
1 clove garlic, minced
5 oz spinach, chopped small and cooked (you can microwave with a bit of water or cook in the skillet--you want it wilted; then drain the water off)
1 can artichoke hearts, drained and chopped a bit
1/2 C Parmesan cheese to mix in
1/2 C Parmesan cheese to add on top
1 1/2 C mozzarella cheese

Spread out the dough for your crust.

Beat together cream cheese and mayo. Add garlic, cooked (and drained) spinach, artichoke hearts, and 1/2 C Parmesan cheese.

Spread this on your crust.

Top with 1/2 C Parmesan cheese (or Romano if you want to switch it up just a tiny bit) and 1 1/2 C mozzarella cheese.

Bake at 400 degrees for about 15 minutes.

PRINTABLE RECIPE

Pizza Roll

We eat homemade pizza about once every week or two. It's the only food I can think of that we eat so frequently, so even though we have our favorites, I like to switch things up a bit here and there.

Recently we tried a pizza roll (otherwise referred to as stromboli). You take an uncooked pizza. And roll it up. (And then you cook it of course.) I know; I know; you're still trying to wrap your brain around that earth shattering declaration, right? And I'm willing to bet that there are more than a few of you asking, "But why?" The biggest reason is because you were bored and this seemed fun. But there are a couple of practical reasons for making a pizza roll instead of a standard pizza.

1. You can make this with a homemade dough (as I did because I'm an overachiever and stuff and also because I have a breadmaker, which makes this a 2 minute task). But you don't have to. You can use frozen bread dough. You can use refrigerated biscuit or croissant dough. What I'm trying to say is that you can totally cheat. You can open up a can or two of croissant dough, flatten it a bit, slather some toppings on, roll it up, cook, and badabing, you've got dinner ready in 20 minutes. (See if your Dominoes guy can make it to your house that quick, eh?) But you don't have to cheat if you don't want to. This isn't a recipe that has to be made with refrigerated whatever or it will never be the same. 

2. I don't know why, but when something is rolled up like this, I don't feel bad giving it to my kids/husband cold in their lunches. It feels more like a pepperoni roll or something that just a sad little slice of cold pizza their neglectful mother packed up for them. What I'm trying to say is that warm this is a meal, but cold it becomes a snack food or a travel food. I like that about it. You can just eat the cool version like a sandwich in your hand.

3. You can dip these in marinara. What is it about dipping things that is so fun (especially for children)? I don't know, but the phenomena exists and I just roll with it. These are dip-able and my people like that.

Pepperoni Roll
adapted from What About Pie?
Makes 1 large pizza
Cost: $4.50
mozzarella: 3.00, dough: .50, pepperoni: 1.00

Step 1:
Make your favorite dough. Or pull it out of the freezer. Or bust open that can of refrigerated dough. Whatever. Just procure some dough, okay.

Step 2:
Flatten your dough into a rectangle, just like you're making cinnamon rolls.

Step 3: (this one can be skipped)
Add a very thin layer of pizza sauce. Too much sauce and it will ooze and sog. But just a thin layer will work. I did this, wanting to be sure that my kids ate at least a tiny bit of the fruit/veggie food group. However, you can totally skip the sauce if you want and just head straight for the cheese. Then after they're cooked you can dip in sauce if you like.

Step 4:
Add toppings. We did pepperoni and kept it simple at that.

Step 5:
Add cheese. We used mozzarella, but you can go all gourmet if you want.

Step 6:
Roll it. You're going to roll it so that it comes out long instead of short. Maybe you cheated your way through physics, but I know you can still do this, even though I did forget to take a picture. Seal the seam. Use a little water if you need to to get it to stick.

Step 7:
Put it on a lightly greased pan with the sealed seam down.

Step 8:
Bake at 375 for about 20 minutes or until the top of the dough is browned. This cooking time may vary depending on the type of dough you use, so keep your eye on it.

Step 9:
Let it cool for a few minutes. Then cut it with a nice sharp knife. If you try to cut it while hot with a dull knife, your cheese and stuff will just squish out the ends. So use a sharp knife and a gentle hand.

Step 10:
Eat. Dipping if desired.

Snowman Pizza

You know what I'm noticing about themed pizzas. It doesn't matter if Frosty looks like he's put away a little too much eggnog this season with those bloodshot eyes and that flattened top hat. No. No one in the 10 and under crowd cares about those things. They're just happy their pizza looks like something--it brings a little spark to the after Christmas days. And we all need that.

Slice olives for the top hat and buttons/eyes.
Use pepperoni for eyes, buttons (I also put a bunch under the cheese because we love pepperoni pizza.
Our scarf was made of spinach. But I think you could get away with lots of toppings for the scarf.
And the nose was a carrot (well, of course) sliced flat and thin.

Christmas Pizza Ideas

Okay, guys, so you know all those glam shots you're always seeing on Pinterest that make you feel like you're failing as a mother, cook, and overall human being. Well, these aren't quite those. Aren't you happy? But hopefully they'll give you some fun ideas for December pizza nights. A pre-made crust and this is a 30 minute meal. A bread-maker crust and it's just as easy, though you have to think ahead. A quick pizza crust and it's still done in an hour.

I don't know what my obsession is with themed pizzas lately, but I'm just going to go with it.

This one is a Christmas tree.

I shaped it into a basic triangle, then cut the branches, so they were branchier, although once decorated, they were harder to see anyway, so you could probably go with just a triangle if you wanted to. This one was a ranch pizza, and the broccoli in the sauce gave it a bit of a green undertone (which was nice, but could have been done with a regular tomato sauce). Then it was decorated with pepperoni and olive "ornaments" and given a spinach garland. I cut the spinach into strips. A similar thing could have been done with basil leaves for a more grown-up taste.

And this here is a Christmas ornament.

Basic round pizza with an, um, hook at the top. Basic tomato sauce topped with cheese, then decorated with olives, pepperoni, and spinach.

The kids were in love.

They actually looked really great. And tasted great. Very crowd pleasing. And even though each of my kids picked his or her spinach off, they did not fuss about it being there as they normally would have.

Halloween Pizza--a Spider and a Cat

Okay, so I tried a couple ideas out last night for dinner. This one was definitely the winner.

I got the idea of olive spiders from Apron Strings deviled eggs.

This one, well, it started out trying to be a jack-o-lantern, but then I thought it looked like a cat so I made it one, except that I kind of thought it looked like maybe a cat with a mustache or even a little owl-ish. So, um, yeah, it's a shapeshifting pizza of some sort, but just for the record, jack-o-lantern, cat, and owl would all be fun pizzas to have on the big day.

These are super simple to make and the great thing is you can go all out with your dough from scratch yada yada or just cheat and get a pre-made crust and still turn out a winner of a super quick Halloween night dinner.

Super Quick Pizza Crust

I'm not really loyal to one pizza crust, but I have a few favorites. The one from my bread maker probably wins since all I have to do is throw things in (should I have the foresight to do this 90 minutes before assembly time). I also really like this one and we always love a good sourdough crust.

However, on days like today when I walk into my house at 4:00 knowing my husband is going to walk out at 5:25 and we want something substantial, crowd-pleasing and yet cheap for dinner, there's nothing that can beat this 15-minute from scratch pizza dough. Nothing. Time-wise it even gives a dough from a box some competition. And taste-wise it'll blow that boxed stuff out of the water.

Are you ready? Cause it's kind of like rocket science around here. Ha ha. Just a little joke there. I can't even figure out blogger's new format, so you can rest assured that no threat of rocket science exists in this household. Whew.

Super Quick Pizza Crust
adapted from Better Homes and Gardens Cookbook
Makes 2 medium sized crusts or one extra large (we fill a jelly roll pan with a nice rectangular pizza)
Prep time: 7 minutes
Sit time: 10 minutes (or less if you're really in a pinch)
Cost: $.50
flour: .10, whole wheat flour: .30, yeast: .10

Note: I use a combination of whole wheat and all-purpose flour: about 1 1/2 C whole wheat and 1 C all-purpose. I know it can be made entirely with all-purpose flour if you wish. I haven't tried it with 100% whole wheat, but I bet it would work just fine.

2 1/4- 3 1/2 C flour
1 Tbsp yeast
1/4 tsp salt
1 C water
2 Tbsp oil

Mix 1 1/2 C flour, yeast, and salt together in a bowl. Add water and oil and mix. Add flour in 1/4 C increments until it becomes too stiff to mix. At that point, turn it on to the counter and knead it for a few minutes, adding flour as necessary.

Let it sit for 10 minutes, which is usually just the right amount of time for me to get a sauce ready and some vegetables chopped.

Spread it out on a greased pan and have at it with whatever toppings you wish.

PRINTABLE RECIPE

Pizza with Garbanzo Sauce and Tomatoes

Cheap Eat Challenge, Part2: Watch as our family of 6 eats on less than $10/day.

Let me start off with a disclaimer: If you or someone you love hates beans, you or someone you love will hate this pizza. 

If, however, you like beans--especially in nearly hummus form, this may be just the thing for you. It's particularly welcome if you are in a bit of a pizza funk and bored to tears with whatever kind of pizza you usually eat. This was the case with me. I wanted something different. I got this idea from Debbi at Debbi Does Dinner Healthy and it got me out of my funk very nicely. This pizza is hardy, nutritious, and tasty. If--I must re-emphasize--beans are something you like. Because there is no escaping the beans in this. I thought that they might just subtly blend in with the tomato sauce. They do not. They are their own layer, not one of those hidden nutritious foods that you can just slip under your kids' noses in order to get more plant proteins and fiber into their diet. The beans are there. You will either embrace them or not. Take your stand. 

Pizza with Garbanzo Sauce and Tomatoes

adapted from Debbi Does Dinner Healthy and Low Calorie

Prep time: 10 minutes

Cost: $3.80

(crust: homemade is about .80, beans: .66, tomatoes--free for me; I'm guessing .80, mozzarella: 1.50, other stuff: .04)

1 large or 2 small pizza crusts

1 14-oz. can garbanzo beans (chick peas)--drained and rinsed

1 tsp olive oil

1 Tbsp water

1 garlic clove, minced

2 tsp Italian seasoning

about 20 small pear tomatoes or 25 cherry tomatoes

4-8 basil leaves

8 oz mozzarella cheese

meat such as pepperoni or sausage if desired

Note: This can be prepared with any old marinara sauce in lieu of the tomatoes listed above. However, if using a marinara that contains salt, omit at least 1 tsp of the Italian seasoning from the bean concoction because it is very salty. In this recipe that's fine because it balances with the plain tomatoes. However, a salted sauce would push it over the edge if you don't reduce the Italian seasoning.

Prepare crusts. Heat oven to 425.

Mash garbanzo beans in food processor or blender. Add olive oil, water, garlic clove, and Italian seasoning. It won't quite be as smooth as hummus, but it will be close.

Spread bean paste onto crust. 

Wipe out food processor or blender and put tomatoes and basil in. Give them a few pulses until they are the texture you wish (I was going for very slightly chunky because I knew this wouldn't be approved by my kids no matter what I did.) 

Pour the tomato sauce over the beans. I used yellow tomatoes because that's what my garden had. However, something red would have been prettier. 

Top as you wish. You can add spinach, olives, meat, or whatever. Top this with mozzarella cheese. 

Bake at 425 for 12-17 minutes.

PRINTABLE RECIPE

Breakfast Pizza

Cheap Eat Challenge: Watch as our family of 6 eats, or tries to, on $6/day.

As a cheapskate, pizza is your friend. As a cheapskate with a big family, pizza might just be your best friend. It consists of a good part bread, which is cheap. The meat, if used at all, can be skimped on as it's being used more as a flavoring than the big kahuna (unless you're a meat-lovers kind of family in which case, um, shop the sales). You can sneak certain veggies in and on it; and even if those veggies are absolutely not a hit, people can pick them off and still eat the bulk of the meal you've prepared (though you might still get a bit of whining--try to silence this by offering to give that kid's piece of pizza to another kid or to Dad--that usually shuts 'em up), Sure, the cheese is going to cost you a bit, but the cheese for a pizza can be bought on sale and frozen since the cheese for pizza usually ends up crumbly anyway.  

Also, pizza tastes good. In most families (even in my family--Motto: "We don't all eat what our mother serves:), it's a hit. In fact, I like to give pizza instead of the more standard casserole to friends when they've just had a baby. It's just as easy to take and store and I believe it's generally well received by pickier older children. 

Pizza can be made, left uncooked, and frozen. And then it is perfect for those nights when you've been working all day in the yard and you'd otherwise be inclined to, well, pick up a pizza. 

The only problem with pizza is that we tend to get in pizza funks. Tomato sauce, pepperoni, mozzarella. Which can get a little boring. Okay, never to my kids, but to me. On one such bored-of-pizza pizza night, I was looking for some inspiration and noticed a breakfast pizza on smittenkitchen.com. We had bacon; we had eggs. We had dinner. (Oh, you thought this was breakfast pizza, did you? Well, it certainly could be, especially if you let your dough rise in the refrigerator overnight. But we had it for dinner.) We even had fun with dinner. (Although if you are grown ups and making this for something grown up like a brunch, you don't have to.)

(or maybe that's just scary)

On smitten kitchen, there was no sauce used, which made me so nervous that I had some marinara for dipping in case I got a revolt. People did dip because my kids and husband are dipping kinds of people, but I was surprised at how very much I liked pizza without the sauce. It felt so grown up, so not Chuck-E-Cheese. 

And as one final note, I must comment on the eggs. They came out a bit runny-ish. I know that this is how most people like their eggs and I think that this is possibly even how they were intended to come out. However, I wished for them to be more solid--not dry pasty yolk solid, but at least soft-boiled yolk solid. When we make this again, I will lower the temperature of the oven by about 25 degrees and increase the cooking time a bit to allow them longer to set up. I think using small eggs would also help. I will also, most likely break the yolks and spread them out just a bit (sorry Mister Clown face). 

Breakfast Pizza

makes two 12-inch thicker crusted pizzas

adapted from smittenkitchen

Prep time: 15 minutes (plus a 30-40 minute rise for the dough)

Cook time: 15 minutes

Cost: $3.00

(flour: .55, yeast: .05, Parm cheese: .50, mozzarella cheese: 1.25, eggs: .25, bacon: .40)

Dough:

1 tsp active dry yeast

4 1/4 C flour (I used half all-purpose, half whole wheat)

1/2-1 Tbsp sugar (depending on whether you like a little sweet in your crust or not)

1/2 tsp salt

1 1/2 C warm water

Toppings:

1/2 C grated Parmesan

2 C grated mozzarella

2-3 eggs per pizza 

4-6 strips bacon

salt and pepper to taste

several leaves of spinach

Note: If you're minions will not object, you can also use several tablespoons chopped parsley, chives, shallot, and/or green onion.

For dough:

Combine yeast and water. Add sugar. Add 2 C flour and mix well. Add rest of flour until it becomes to hard to mix. Turn it out and knead it for several minutes (5-8). Or use your Kitchenaid and go leaf through a magazine for 4 minutes or so. Put in a warm area and let rise until doubled (about 30-40 minutes). You can use this time to prepare your other ingredients, as described below.

When it's risen, divide it in 2 and use your fingers to press it into 2 round pizzas. Alternately, you can make 1 large rectangular pizza in a jelly roll sheet. Lightly grease whatever sheet you put it on (or use a baking stone).

For toppings and to prepare pizzas: 

Fry bacon in a skillet over medium heat until crisp. Drain on a paper towel. Break into pieces if you wish or leave large and make a smiley face and funky eyebrows.

Sprinkle almost all cheese over dough. Add spinach and sprinkle remaining cheese over that too. Add bacon pieces. Crack eggs over pizza (small ones are best; break the yolks if you want more cookage to go on). Season eggs with salt and pepper. Add other herbs, onions if using.

Bake at 375 for 10-15 minutes or until yolks are done (with rack set to medium position in oven). Note: Pizzas are generally cooked at much higher temperatures--especially, I believe, pizzas with a thin crust. The original recipe called for crusts half as thin and for the oven to be at 500 with the pizza baked on the lowest rack. This might work with a thin crusted pizza and it might take care of the runny egg problem, but Kip likes thick crusts, so I originally baked mine at 425 on the middle oven rack and ended up with runny yolks and slightly too-brown cheese. Perhaps I should have had more faith in the 500 degree lowest rack, though I still don't quite believe that it would have gotten my thicker crust cooked. Thus, if you have a thin crust, go with 500 on the lowest rack for 8-10 minutes. If you have a thick one, you can still do that, or you can try what I intend to try--lowering the oven temp and giving a longer cook time. If it doesn't work, leave an angry post telling me I should have tried this before giving out random advice, as I surely should have. I promise to on my next pizza.

PRINTABLE RECIPE

Heart-Shaped Pizza: A Valentine's Idea

My parents gave me a Valentine's Day gift--not a literal sort of gift (though they gave those too), but a legacy type of a gift. For us, Valentine's Day was a fun day--a day of homemade doily Valentine's stashed on your bedside in the night, a day for nice dinners, for small gifts (very small) for everyone in the family, and sometimes heart-shaped pancakes. In other words, a day for sharing with the ones you loved, not necessarily for going on a fancy expensive date or hooking up with whatever hot someone. So I was surprised when I got to college to find that not everyone loved Valentine's Day. In fact, some people had downright hateful feelings towards this day of love. Because they associated it with romance, with chocolates and secret admirerers, with lofty expectation; and thus, with disappointment and sometimes loneliness. And don't get me wrong, there's nothing wrong with a nice date or a surprise something from that very special one. It just happens to be my opinion that there's plenty of love to go around in this world and plenty of people in our lives to love for those years when a super special someone isn't in the picture. Or when he has to work. 

This idea came from my sister Rebecca.

It's not a recipe, per se. I'll save the dough and sauce for another day. Today just take whatever ingredients you've got--be it your special dough or a box of Bisquick, a century-old family recipe or a can Great Value of spaghetti sauce. And make something special out of it. Because that--the making of something lovely out of the things you've got, however imperfect or unpolished they may be--is the spirit of Valentine's Day.

Enjoy. 

Spread the dough out in the shape of a heart. You can use a pizza cutter if you'd like, but I just pressed it into the shape. (They usually sell frozen dough or you can use Bisquick or there's an easy pizza dough recipe here.)

Add the toppings.

Bake at about 400 until the cheese is melted and beginning to brown.

And don't forget to wear your "Kiss the Cook" apron.

Happy Valentine's Day.

Chicken and Vegetable Ranch Pizza

Cheap Eat Challenge Count Down: 23 days

What's that you say? Pizza is not holiday food. Oh contraire, my friend. Pizza is perfect after a long cold day of shopping or errands or practices for the Christmas choir. It's a good crowd-pleaser at a party. It's warm. It's creamy. Sounds festive to me.

Also, I'm not sure it'll make the budget once the cheap eat challenge begins, so I wanted to post it now. Don't get my wrong, it's fairly cheap to make and I certainly intend to try to get it onto our menu this coming year even if I must reduce the cheese or something (forgive me, Kip) because it is my favorite pizza in this world. 

I like it best with a sour dough crust, but my sour dough starter went a little wonky (i.e. pinkish--frightening), so I just used a wheat crust here, which was delicious as well. Then there's a ranchy mayo sauce with a broccoli topping. And after that, the sky's the limit. Our basic pizza has chicken and olives for the topping. I also love it with chicken, bacon, artichoke hearts, olives, and spinach. I also love it with pepperoni instead of the chicken, even though I didn't think I would. I also love it with some cauliflower mixed in with the broccoli and I'm guessing if you're a cauliflower lover you could replace the broccoli with it entirely if you wished. We usually top it with mozzarella, but we've done a mix of mozzarella and cheddar and mozzarella and Parmesan before when we didn't have quite enough mozzarella to meet Kip's coverage standards.

Pizza can also be made in the morning or on a Saturday and stored or frozen, then thrown in the oven when needed. It can be given to someone who just had a baby or is moving or just needs a little love. And, even though this pizza is kind of "pricey" as it is loaded with toppings, it is still cheaper than any $5 pizza  you could pick up and--need I say it--so much tastier. (The cost figured very unscientifically in my head last night came to about $4 for a jelly roll size pizza, and that was with expensive canned chicken).

Chicken and Vegetable Ranch Pizza
Makes 24 pieces
adapted from a Pampered Chef party I attended many moons ago

1 sour dough or whole wheat crust: (I made my whole wheat one in the breadmaker, but I'll post a good basic recipe below.)
2/3 C mayo
1 package or 3 Tbsn Ranch powder (it's on my to-do list to figure out how to make this from scratch)
1 small head broccoli, very finely chopped (I chop mine till it's crumb-like)
1/2 C shredded chicken (also good with bacon or pepperoni or, I dare say, sausage, though we haven't made it that way because Kip doesn't like sausage because he's mentally ill)
1/4-1/2 C sliced olives
Other veggies that are good with this pizza: carrots (thinly sliced or grated), zucchini, green onions, red onions, artchoke hearts, spinach,  cauliflower (chopped like the broccoli). Tell me if you use anything else that comes out amazing
8-12 oz. mozarella cheese (I think this is about 2 C)

Prepare crust (or, heck, buy one--it'll still be cheaper than anything bought from a pizza place, and it makes this super speedy/easy to put together). While crust rises if rise it must, prepare other ingredients.

Boil a chicken breast in water until cooked (15-20 minutes--cut it open to be sure). Let it cool a bit and shred it. Alternately, you can use any old leftover chicken you happen to have lying about. Alternately, you can use canned chicken if you're in a pinch for time or fresh chicken.

Combine mayo (do you like how I always abbreviate this because I have trouble spelling the darned word) with ranch powder and mix thoroughly. It will seem ranch-y, but don't skimp or the pizza comes out a bit bland.

Chop broccoli till crumb-like. Chop other vegetables.

To put it together:

Press the crust into a jelly roll pan or a pizza pan should you be so privileged (9 years of marriage and still no pizza pan--I guess we like things rectangular). Add mayo sauce and spread. Sprinkle broccoli over sauce. Add toppings. Sprinkle with cheese.

Bake at 400 for 12-15 minutes or until edges are golden and the cheese is just beginning to brown. (The picture above could have used a couple more minutes, but apparently, we were hungry). Ideally, you should give it a few minutes to cool and set, but I don't think we ever do.

Basic Whole Wheat Pizza Crust:
Adapted from Better Homes and Gardens Cookbook (so I did use it for something after all)

1 1/2 C whole wheat flour
1 1/2 C all purpose flour
1 package (or about 3 tsp) active dry yeast
dash salt
1 C warm water (120-130 degrees)
2 Tbsp oil (I use canola)

Combine 1 1/4 C flour, yeast, and salt. Add water and oil. Mix with spoon and begin to stir in remaining flour and then begin to knead adding extra flour until dough is pliable and slightly tacky, (not loose and sticky and not super tight or hard). Knead for about 8 minutes. Let rest for 10 minutes and then you're good to go.

Alternatively, you can use a Kitchenaid with a dough hook if that's you thing.

PRINTABLE RECIPE