Two-Minute No Knead Pizza Dough

So apparently Gwyneth Paltrow is now on the food stamp budget bandwagon. She's gotten plenty of push back too and, while I admit that in some ways, she seems perfectly oblivious to the plight of some of us commoners, the push back is sometimes annoying to me too. One thing I read recently criticized her because she can go to the store and buy food as opposed to the poor who, apparently, cannot go anywhere at all ever. Except McDonald's. The article pretty much said that poor people can't make it to the store, that's why they have to eat fast food. Because as we all know, grocery stores are millions of miles away from poor people, but Taco Bells just sprout off of their poor people trees.

Listen. I don't think there's anything wrong with a person (poor or otherwise) going out for fast food now and again, but when journalists start talking about the poor as though they're destined to live off of cheeseburgers and Big Gulps, it gets my little britches all in a wad. It's just so unempowering (spell check says this is not a word), and in this unempowerment (also not a word), it's super insulting. If you're poor, then I guess you'll just be stuffing your face with cheap hamburgers.

Well, not today. Today we're making pizza. Beautiful, homemade pizza. We can do it if we're poor because it's inexpensive, delicious, and easy to make. Or we can do it if we're not poor because it's inexpensive, delicious, and easy to make. We can do it if we're anywhere in between because it's inexpensive, delicious, and easy to make. Oh sure, I hear you, Mr. Condescending Journalist--the poor don't have time to make homemade pizza. Well today they/we do. The dough takes two minutes--TWO minutes--of assembly time and can be thrown together (almost literally) the night before, the morning of, or that afternoon depending on your needs. (Note: It will need rise time, so some planning is necessary. Please don't tell me the poor cannot plan.) Add to this some 5-minute marinara sauce (or a can of $.99 Hunts if you will), and some mozzarella and you've got yourself a perfectly respectable poor man's meal that tastes like a rich man's meal. All together, a 15x12 inch cheese pizza with this dough will cost you about $3.50. In fact, you've got yourself a poor man's meal for 6--that's about $.60/serving (teenagers not yet included). Yes, you could go to Little Caesar's. And, again, I'd like to point out that there's nothing inherently wrong about that. But this dough tastes better. And has less sodium and sugar than a fast-food pizza. It's also a little cheaper and a little bigger (it can feed our whole family whereas a Little Caesar's pizza can't). And has been prepared by your very own hands. You can personalize it with any toppings you wish if you've got the cash and inclination for that.

You do have to get your booty to the grocery store at least once a year for these pantry stable ingredients, but I'm pretty sure if Gwyneth can do it, you can too.

Two-Minute No Knead Pizza Dough
adapted from Smitten Kitchen
makes enough dough for one large pizza
Cost: $.40
flour: .35, yeast: .05

Note: You'll use 1/8 tsp yeast for a 24-ish hour dough,
1/4 tsp yeast if you make your dough the morning of (12-ish hour rise time),
1/2 tsp yeast if you make it around lunch time (5-6-ish hour rise time),
3/4 if you make it a few hours before dinner (3-4-ish hour rise time).
I believe this dough is tastier and chewier the longer you leave it to sit, but I don't always plan ahead enough, which is why you have the higher yeast adaptations (and it's still yummy made that way too).

3 C flour (I used 2 1/2 C all-purpose and 1/2 C of white whole wheat for righteousness' sake)
1 1/4 tsp salt
1/8, 1/4, 1/2, or 3/4 tsp yeast depending on how long you want to let it sit (see note)
1 1/4 C water

Combine dry ingredients. Add water and stir. It'll look like a lump of craggy dough (different than kneaded dough).

Cover and let sit for up to a day.

Take it out  (it will now be slightly sticky, and less firm than that craggy dough was originally). Fold it a time or two into a ball. Spread it on your pan and top it as you will.

Bake at 400 degrees until your cheese is bubbly. (Note: Pizza pros often cook their pizza at much higher temps. You can. Sometimes I do too, but usually I make a medium-thick crust and keep it at 400 or 425. I'm not a pro, but it comes out pretty tasty nevertheless.)

PRINTABLE RECIPE