It's not at all about food (although somehow I intended it to be when I started), but here's a post I wrote for Whitney Johnson's blog about my mother and writing and believing in myself . Enjoy.
What a moving post; I have now lost both my parents, and when I missed my mother the most was when I was in labour with my first (and only) child. I needed her encouragement so badly, and I needed to know she was proud of me like she always was when I did anything. Later I thought wistfully of the relationship with a grandchild she'd wanted so much but sadly never got the chance to have. Although my life is happy and fulfilled, nothing will ever fill that gap.
I read here regularly (although I don't comment, or to be honest, cook, often). I enjoy your words, and I think I understand the way the time you spent writing, turning words this way and that, brought your grief into sharper focus. I also think, although I know it cannot erase death, not at all, that editing can be be tremendously therapeutic. Good for you for giving yourself time and permission to write. Good for your mom, even without being there, for reminding you that you - and the myriad ways you work - are valuable.
Thank you, and you would know better than I about both writing and healing. I actually believe that writing/editing holds a tremendous amount of value as something therapeutic. It has helped me through many sticky and/or low points in life.
What a moving post; I have now lost both my parents, and when I missed my mother the most was when I was in labour with my first (and only) child. I needed her encouragement so badly, and I needed to know she was proud of me like she always was when I did anything. Later I thought wistfully of the relationship with a grandchild she'd wanted so much but sadly never got the chance to have. Although my life is happy and fulfilled, nothing will ever fill that gap.
ReplyDeleteThank you for that comment. It's true. I'm definitely not miserable in any way, but nothing will ever fill that gap.
DeleteI read here regularly (although I don't comment, or to be honest, cook, often). I enjoy your words, and I think I understand the way the time you spent writing, turning words this way and that, brought your grief into sharper focus. I also think, although I know it cannot erase death, not at all, that editing can be be tremendously therapeutic. Good for you for giving yourself time and permission to write. Good for your mom, even without being there, for reminding you that you - and the myriad ways you work - are valuable.
ReplyDeleteThank you, and you would know better than I about both writing and healing. I actually believe that writing/editing holds a tremendous amount of value as something therapeutic. It has helped me through many sticky and/or low points in life.
Delete